Not long after writing a blog titled “Goals or Good Intentions” I read a story in 2 Samuel 10 which caught my eye and caused me to do some serious thinking about how we perceive the intentions of others. How should we respond when our good intentions are met with wrong assumptions? And how can we protect ourselves from making assumptions that may be completely inaccurate? After reading this story, I realized that while I may know what my intentions are, others do not and one small seed of doubt planted within the mind can cause a devastating outcome.
"It happened after this that the king of the people of Ammon died, and Hanun his son reigned in his place. Then David said, 'I will show kindness to Hanun the son of Nahash, as his father showed kindness to me.' So David sent by the hand of his servants to comfort him concerning his father. And David’s servants came into the land of the people of Ammon. And the princes of the people of Ammon said to Hanun their lord, 'Do you think that David really honors your father because he has sent comforters to you? Has David not rather sent his servants to you to search the city, to spy it out, and to overthrow it?' Therefore Hanun took David’s servants, shaved off half of their beards, cut off their garments in the middle, at their buttocks, and sent them away. When they told David, he sent to meet them, because the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, 'Wait at Jericho until your beards have grown, and then return.'" (2 Samuel 10: 1-5, NKJV).
The “princes of the people” postulated (How do you like that word? I used my Thesaurus. ;)). They assumed without proof. They took it for granted that David’s intentions were not honest. A decision was made; it would be better to humiliate David’s servants and reject his offer of comfort rather than consider the possibility that his motives and intentions came from the purest of hearts. I wasn’t there, but it appears, a guilty verdict was handed to these men without allowing them the opportunity to present their case. What transpired next? War. And once the Ammorites realized they had offended David they hired the Syrians to go to battle with them. In the end, “…when all the kings serving Hadadezer saw that they were defeated by Israel, they made peace with Israel and served them. So the Syrians were afraid to help the Ammonites any more” (2 Samuel 10:19, AMP).
Let’s use this as an opportunity to learn from the war that began when assumptions were made that were far from the truth. Ask yourself…
How many…
· injuries have we sustained simply because good intentions were misunderstood?
· battle wounds and scars do we carry deep within, because a war began when assumptions
were the preferred choice, rather than seeking to know the intentions of the heart?
· wars have begun because the counsel of others caused us to question the sincerity of another?
· times have we assumed without proof the intentions of those around us?
· others have we pulled in our battle, or “hired” to fight with us, a war based only upon assumptions?
· people are afraid to help you for fear of being pulled into another battle?
Are you battling a war that can be put to rest by laying down an assumption? Maybe it is time to get the facts. Believe me, there have been many times I have been guilty of taking a “supposed” truth for granted. I have also experienced the sting of having my good intentions erroneously misunderstood. I’m not sure when it became easier to believe false assumptions rather than trust good intentions, but I do know who loves to fuel the fire within.
I have an enemy (well, I may have more than one, but this is the one that I am well aware of). Satan. As my enemy, I know for certain that his intentions towards me, along with those around me, are for evil. He is waging a war of destruction especially for those within the church. When Paul wrote to the church at Corinth he explained the reason for his letter was “to keep Satan from getting the advantage over us; for we are not ignorant of his wiles and intentions” (2 Corinthians 2:11, AMP). We must guard ourselves from Satan’s schemes so he never gets the advantage over us. One way we can accomplish this is to keep clear from his trap of making wrong assumptions. He wants us in a war. He wants us bruised and scarred. He wants relationships broken by hurts and misunderstanding. He has no intention of allowing us to believe the best of others. Don’t allow him to have the advantage over you, know what his intentions are in your life, your marriage, your family, your business, your mind, and your health. If you are in a war, make sure you are fighting the right enemy.
“Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]” (1 Corinthians 13:7, AMP).
"It happened after this that the king of the people of Ammon died, and Hanun his son reigned in his place. Then David said, 'I will show kindness to Hanun the son of Nahash, as his father showed kindness to me.' So David sent by the hand of his servants to comfort him concerning his father. And David’s servants came into the land of the people of Ammon. And the princes of the people of Ammon said to Hanun their lord, 'Do you think that David really honors your father because he has sent comforters to you? Has David not rather sent his servants to you to search the city, to spy it out, and to overthrow it?' Therefore Hanun took David’s servants, shaved off half of their beards, cut off their garments in the middle, at their buttocks, and sent them away. When they told David, he sent to meet them, because the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, 'Wait at Jericho until your beards have grown, and then return.'" (2 Samuel 10: 1-5, NKJV).
The “princes of the people” postulated (How do you like that word? I used my Thesaurus. ;)). They assumed without proof. They took it for granted that David’s intentions were not honest. A decision was made; it would be better to humiliate David’s servants and reject his offer of comfort rather than consider the possibility that his motives and intentions came from the purest of hearts. I wasn’t there, but it appears, a guilty verdict was handed to these men without allowing them the opportunity to present their case. What transpired next? War. And once the Ammorites realized they had offended David they hired the Syrians to go to battle with them. In the end, “…when all the kings serving Hadadezer saw that they were defeated by Israel, they made peace with Israel and served them. So the Syrians were afraid to help the Ammonites any more” (2 Samuel 10:19, AMP).
Let’s use this as an opportunity to learn from the war that began when assumptions were made that were far from the truth. Ask yourself…
How many…
· injuries have we sustained simply because good intentions were misunderstood?
· battle wounds and scars do we carry deep within, because a war began when assumptions
were the preferred choice, rather than seeking to know the intentions of the heart?
· wars have begun because the counsel of others caused us to question the sincerity of another?
· times have we assumed without proof the intentions of those around us?
· others have we pulled in our battle, or “hired” to fight with us, a war based only upon assumptions?
· people are afraid to help you for fear of being pulled into another battle?
Are you battling a war that can be put to rest by laying down an assumption? Maybe it is time to get the facts. Believe me, there have been many times I have been guilty of taking a “supposed” truth for granted. I have also experienced the sting of having my good intentions erroneously misunderstood. I’m not sure when it became easier to believe false assumptions rather than trust good intentions, but I do know who loves to fuel the fire within.
I have an enemy (well, I may have more than one, but this is the one that I am well aware of). Satan. As my enemy, I know for certain that his intentions towards me, along with those around me, are for evil. He is waging a war of destruction especially for those within the church. When Paul wrote to the church at Corinth he explained the reason for his letter was “to keep Satan from getting the advantage over us; for we are not ignorant of his wiles and intentions” (2 Corinthians 2:11, AMP). We must guard ourselves from Satan’s schemes so he never gets the advantage over us. One way we can accomplish this is to keep clear from his trap of making wrong assumptions. He wants us in a war. He wants us bruised and scarred. He wants relationships broken by hurts and misunderstanding. He has no intention of allowing us to believe the best of others. Don’t allow him to have the advantage over you, know what his intentions are in your life, your marriage, your family, your business, your mind, and your health. If you are in a war, make sure you are fighting the right enemy.
“Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]” (1 Corinthians 13:7, AMP).
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