As we flip the calendar from August and usher in September, we say farewell to our summer vacations and hello to fall; the season of back-to-school, cooler temperatures and one of the highlights of our family: football. Yes, it’s time, once again, for the fantasy season. But did you know there is another bonus to September? It is also Women’s Friendship Month and we’ve been given an entire month to honor and celebrate those dear friends of ours. How will you honor your bestie?
 
Without a doubt, we all have been blessed—in one way or another—by the gift of friendship. You may be fortunate to have a friend that has been with you over your lifetime. There are those who appear for only a season while others, let’s just say, they show up for a reason. They are the friends whom the Lord uses to teach us lessons; the valuable heart-crushing kinds of lessons. For every friendship I’ve had over the years, I can honestly say each one has made some type of impact in my life. Can’t you? Thinking about the gift of friendship I was reminded of the story of David and Jonathan’s friendship in the book of First Samuel. These boys had a friendship that went deep. So deep, in fact, they made a covenant with one another. When Jonathan’s father, Saul, acted out against David to kill him, Jonathan did whatever he could to protect the life of his friend. Jonathan knew his father’s actions were wrong and regardless of family ties, he defended—even protected David—from his father’s intention to kill him. That’s faithfulness, isn’t it? 
 
As thoughts of friendship danced through my head, I began considering some of the qualities I admire most in those who bless me with their friendship. It turns out—after seeking input through social media—we agree that…
 
We are thankful for faithful friends who:

1. Accept our uniqueness as well as the gifts and callings God has put within us. Jonathon met David after he killed Goliath and the Bible says, “Jonathan was deeply impressed with David—an immediate bond was forged between them and he became totally committed to David. From that point on he would be “David’s number-one advocate and friend” (1 Samuel 18:1, The MSG). We all need a friend who will be our number-one-advocate, don’t we? Those who will believe the best in us, even when they may witness the worst in us. They provide a safe, judgment free zone, where unconditional love is evident. They exemplify the character of God as they freely offer grace, mercy and love. When we accept our friends, unconditionally, through the good, the bad and the ugly, we cultivate authenticity, as we grow to become the best version of who God created us to be.  Remember…“Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]”(1 Corinthians 13:7, AMP).
2. Build trust with each other through genuine hearts; where confidentiality, compassion and honesty are nurtured. When Jonathan learned of his father’s plans to kill David, he went to David and warned him, but he also confronted his father (1 Samuel 19): “Jonathan brought up David with his father, speaking well of him. “Please,” he said to his father, “don’t attack David. He hasn’t wronged you, has he” (1 Samuel 19:4, The MSG, emphasis added)?  David trusted Jonathan with his life when he feared for it the most. And Jonathan spoke well of David, even though his father wasn’t in the mood to hear it. Our faithful friends don’t remain silent when they hear words of attack against a friend. Rather than joining the gossip club, they remain loyal and faithful, asking, “Why do you seek to destroy her? She hasn’t wronged you, has she?” Remember…“He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or gossips about a matter separates intimate friends” (Proverbs 17:9, AMP).
3. Challenge us gently yet truthfully. Though the words may bring a sting, a faithful friend doesn’t simply tell us what we want to hear, they tell us what we need to hear. After another attempt on his life, David confronted Jonathan with the facts of the situation by asking, “‘…what wrong have I inflicted on your father that makes him so determined to kill me?’ ‘Nothing,’ said Jonathan. ‘You’ve done nothing wrong. Tell me what you have in mind. I’ll do anything for you’” (1 Samuel 20, 1,2,4, The MSG). It must have been extremely difficult for Jonathan to hear the truth about his father’s secret intentions against his friend. But rather than excusing or denying his father’s behavior he listened to David, and together they came up with a plan to discover the truth; regardless of how difficult it would be to hear. Solomon wrote, “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). When a trusted friend offers counsel from a heart of love and concern and it hurts, don’t push them away. Instead, pray and ask God to help you come up with a plan to discover truth together! We may need to sift through emotion and fear as we seek to determine the truth. Allow God to sift. God desires we surround ourselves with friends who can help our faith grow and mature, not remain stagnant. A good question to ask myself is this: do I allow friends to challenge me with advice that’s hard to hear or do I get defensive when they confront an attitude, behavior or choice? Remember...“The way of the [arrogant] fool [who rejects God’s wisdom] is right in his own eyes, but a wise and prudent man is he who listens to counsel” (Proverbs 12:15, AMP).
4. Defer, not disown. We value friendships that can withstand the test of time and the seasons of life. Once David and Jonathan came up with a plan that would reveal Saul’s true intentions, they recognized they would need to part ways. Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever’” (1 Samuel 20:42, NIV). After a tearful goodbye, David and Jonathon would each begin traveling their own journey, one that would be different for each of them. At one point “Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God” (1 Samuel 23:16). When we understand friendship has been designed to endure seasons, and reasons, we can accept when our own journey brings about change. Friends that can come together after a hiatus, picking up where they left off, helping one another find strength in God, are refreshing. They are also a necessary gift. Remember...“…Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed” (Proverbs 11:25 CEB). 
5. Embrace a positive mindset with the ability to help us surrender to God’s will, regardless of the conditions around us. Every time David wondered why Saul wanted him dead, Jonathan reassured him Saul’s plan would fail, even though this meant Jonathan would not succeed his father at the throne. “Don’t be afraid. My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this” (1 Samuel 23:17, NIV). Jonathan never allowed his own fear of missing out, or losing the crown, to sway him from helping David fulfill God’s plan. When life is hard, and we become trapped within a battle, a faithful friend changes our focus from negative self-focus to faith-filled God-focus. They speak words of faith into our ears that uplift and help us overcome fear. While understanding the severity of our situation, they offer advice based on God’s Word rather than emotion. They’re the ones willing to grab a shovel and start digging when we feel trapped by “de”pits: despair, depression or destruction. Do your friends allow you to remain stuck in negativity? Or do they help lift your eyes to the God Who speaks life into you when you’re struggling to breathe? Remember...“My inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right” (Proverbs 23:16, NIV).

 
I encourage you, during the month of September, to write the name of A Beloved Companion who exemplifies each characteristic of a faithful friend.
 
Who A-Accepts your uniqueness?
Who has B-Built trust?
Who C-Challenges you to be the best you possible?
Who D-Deferred rather than disowned?
Who E-Embraces a positive mindset?
 
What about you? Remember, “Most men will proclaim each his own goodness. But who can find a faithful man (Proverbs 20:6, NKJV, emphasis added)?
 
Our friends are longing for faithful in…
 
A
Beloved
Companion

Before ending our phone conversation, my friend mentioned her goal for the day was to attend to her lemon tree. Pause. Lemon tree? Caught unaware, I was curious (she’s the only person I know with a lemon tree in her home). She proceeded to explain how she noticed mites had infested the tree and, without rapid action, she was positive they would destroy and kill it. I listened intently as she described the process she would need to take to save her lemon tree. Later that day, I paid her a visit and received a lesson on caring for a mite infested lemon tree.

I watched her spray each leaf individually, washing and wiping them down as gently as she could as she removed the web of the spider mites off the tree. Because of the tree’s weakened condition, some of the leaves and blossoms fell at the slightest touch, even the healthy ones. As she moved from branch to branch, she talked about how aggressive she would need to be to remove the mites and the investment of time it would take. Anything dead, whether a leaf or blossom, had to be removed, as well as any and all webbing from the spider mites.
 
As I watched the tree receive its treatment, it occurred to me how easily I related her care of the lemon tree to the care God, my Gardener, has provided when I've encountered “mite” attacks of my own. My heart began to fill with five Lessons from the Lemon Tree.

Lesson Number One:
 
Even within the very best environment-attacks can happen.
 
While the lemon tree was thriving on the deck, the best environment for its growth and development, it was still susceptible to danger. Our assignment is to realize the same applies to us; we can be thriving within the best environment and still be susceptible to a mite attack. These little nuisances show up at your place of employment, within your circle of friends, your marriage, and family, even your church. In every environment, mites are lurking. These attacks are of the, I-never-saw-that-coming, variety. They blindside you and catch you totally off guard because you believed you were in an environment of safety and never dreamt this could happen. The web on her tree caught my friend completely off guard and I’ve never met a person who hasn’t felt the sting of shock by the discovery of an attack from a co-worker, family member, friend and a brother or sister in Christ.  While we must remain faithful to park ourselves in an environment where the Son will help us thrive and grow, it’s imperative we remain alert; mite attacks can happen anywhere. Paul offers sound advice in First Thessalonians 5:5, “So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert and be clearheaded” (NLT).

​Lesson Number Two:
 
Mites are so small an attack can be hard to recognize.
 
Did you know that a house dust mite is barely visible to the naked eye? These guys are tiny-itty-bitty-scavengers and often it’s the itty-bitty-irritations of life which initiate attack on us. We are quick to assume a little irritation is nothing and we try to shrug it off as that - nothing. But what happens when too many little-itty-bitty-irritations haven’t been completely brushed off? They become many mites ready to attack, or perhaps explode.  Solomon, in his wisdom informed us “the spirit (conscience) of man is the lamp of the Lord, searching and examining all the innermost parts of his being” (Proverbs 20:27, AMP). I’ve become very aware of my need to ask the Examiner to shine His light on the mites that have comfortably settled within making my inner most part home. Pretending "I'm ok" when in fact, irritation rests within my innermost part instigates the explosion of emotional mites. That's never pretty.  I must learn to recognize the smallest of mites and remove them quickly and if I don’t, or can’t...

Lesson Number Three:
 
Failing to recognize the mites may leave you vulnerable and unprotected.
 
It was only when the tree began to wilt, the urgency for intervention was made visible. There’s a good possibility that can happen to us as well. In fact I know it’s possible; I’ve seen it occur in the lives of others; as well as my own. Without ever recognizing the burn-out-mite was attacking, we find ourselves with little left to give.  When the discontent-with-my-life-mite initiates attack, seeking satisfaction outside of God’s boundaries becomes very appealing. We are often stunned when we witness a mite attack within His house; we never expect to find them there, but they are. There are power-struggle-mites and the prayer-turned-to-gossip-mites as well as the don't-step-on-my-toes mites. We’ve witnessed the preacher-hurt-by-people-mite and the people-hurt-by-preacher-mite. We can find ourselves in a sticky situation when the more-is-never-enough-mite attacks and we are suddenly unable to keep up monthly payments of …more. Mite attacks can be so very subtle we can be clueless to the wilting. Help must arrive as soon as the mites become recognizable so God can intervene before they are able to consume more than they already have. We can gain a heart of wisdom by listening to advice and accepting instruction from those around us who, after close inspection, recognize mites have begun destruction. Wise people “… listen and add to their learning, and … the discerning get guidance” (Proverbs 1:5, NIV). 

Lesson Number Four:
 
Once discovered it takes quick action to remove the mites before they destroy you.
 
When my friend noticed the damage on her tree, she quickly called the expert; the one she trusted would have the answers she needed to save her tree.  When the Lord begins to alert us to danger lurking, as we begin to shut down and wilt, how do we respond?  Do we take quick action to seek help in our recovery, or do we distance ourselves in fear, shutting ourselves off from others? At times, I’ve found myself damaged, quickly calling for the expert yet, rejected the suggestions shrugging them off with, “they don’t understand.” Other times, I’ve simply ignored the warnings and closed myself off to others. While that may seem the natural thing to do, it’s not what God intended for us to do. His heart is for us to cry out for insight, lifting our voice for understanding (Proverbs 2:1). When suffering a mite attack it is imperative we accept help from the Expert, listening to His treatment plan. And remember, “Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble” (Proverbs 17:17, MSG).

Lesson Number Five:
 
Help comes gently, yet thoroughly.
 
In my rush to rescue those I sense have begun wilting, I’ve often appeared abrasive and found myself rejected. While my intentions may have been pure, tactfulness was lacking, leading to resentment, and in some cases, broken relationships.  As I’ve sought the Lord for understanding on how to improve my efforts, He’s clarified two things for me:

1) approach and 2) timing.

It is much easier to approach gently after seeking the Lord for discernment in prayer, waiting for His instructions and His timing. When we allow God to prepare hearts – He also prepares ears to hear. The writer of Hebrews said we should “…consider how we might spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24, NIV). The King James puts it this way, “…let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works.” He wasn’t instructing us to provoke one another into angry quarrels or requesting we use sharp, pointed words to spur others along. He was encouraging us to motivate each other to move forward and continue on, toward love and good deeds, in our life of faith.  
 
Before the tree was completely depleted of life, its caretaker examined it and thoroughly removed every last mite; the tree now thrives because she took the time to seek out answers. Now she will continue to enjoy delicious fruit from her lemon tree. A child of God is like a tree and we need to remember, “every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the unhealthy tree bears bad fruit” (Matthew 7:17, AMP)..
 
To bear good fruit we must remain:
 
Alert,
Be clearheaded, allowing our
Caretaker
 
to thoroughly examine every part of our innermost heart. Let’s make sure we are thriving so we are able to offer good fruit others will enjoy.  

In the month of December Pat and I received word of a friends diagnoses of lung cancer.  This news came the day after learning our daughter-in-law’s grandfather was diagnosed with Prostate cancer. Sharing the news with my husband, I said, “Wow. December sure brought unexpected sad news with it.” We, along with numerous others, had been praying hard for our friend Mike's healing. Sadly, he passed away very unexpectedly after a brief illness on December 2nd. He was 42-years-old. The shootings in San Bernardino, CA happened the same day.  That Wednesday was full of grief for many. I’d also been following the story of a sweet little girl on a Facebook page called: Hugs for Alana. Diagnosed with Leukodystrophy, I'd joined my prayers with the prayers of others for her healing. She passed away on December 17th. She was only fifteen-months-old. My heart was heavy and sad. 
 
When Mike’s wife, Ami, shared a story on Facebook of decorating their Christmas tree. She wrote about Sadie, their daughter, dropping a particular ornament onto another causing one to break and one to crack. Both held special meaning.  Reading her post, I cried. In fact, I spent much of December teary-eyed as I thought of those who were suffering. There were some moments I simply could not hold back my tears and so they freely flowed.
 
The day after I read Ami’s post, my grandson, Mason, ran to get me after I heard a crash in our living room. His two-year-old sister, Emery, had plucked an ornament off of our Christmas tree and now stood wide-eyed over the wreckage. With broom and dustpan in hand, I knelt over the mess, and began picking up the ornament that proudly displayed the year 1988, the year our youngest son was born. Once again tears flooded my eyes as I remembered Ami’s post from the day before. She had written about broken and cracked ornaments, and now I held one. Clearing away the shattered mess of a bulb I tried to think back on the specifics of the year 1988. While we had begun that year with the blessing of a beautiful baby boy, I couldn’t think of anything within the year that shattered me. I have no doubt, however, that between the first of January and December 31st, the year held a few heartbreaks. Doesn’t every year?
 
Yes. Every year holds a little heartbreak, I am sure of it. But within some, we find ourselves staring at the shattered as the broken and cracked glare back at us. Within the years 1989, 1992, 2003, 2007, 2013 and 2015, I recall the loss of a family member or friend. Each loss shook me, busting me right open. And while these mark human loss, other casualties lie within years past as well: financial, relational, emotional or physical. They might be within yours too-- is it the broken marriage that cracked a family or the broken promise, which cracked trust? Maybe it was the illness causing broken dreams and cracked hope. It all hurts.
 
As I began picking up the pieces of my broken and cracked ornament, I noticed though the bottom was gone, the top broken, and cracks could be seen throughout, the ornament was still held together by the band around the middle. This ornament would never hang like it used to, but I didn’t need to throw it away. I could display it within the tree; rather than hang it, I’d just set it on a branch.
 
That’s when I realized in the midst of my broken and cracked moments, I too have been held together by a band. It came in the form of friends who wrapped themselves around me tight, refusing to let go, praying for me as I recovered. I was also held together by the unshakeable promises I discovered through my time in God’s Word. I held tight to His promise that He would never leave me or forsake me and that He indeed, was the God of all comfort (Hebrews 13:5, 2 Corinthians 1:3).
 
He helped me endure the changes brought on by the broken and cracked, even the ones I resisted and greatly opposed. I’m so thankful they didn’t destroy me, even though, at the time it seemed as though they would. Remember, whenever you're staring at the broken and cracked, you’re still worthy of display. Don’t assume all must be thrown away. Allow God to wrap His band of promises around you and hold tight to verses like Isaiah 61:3 which promise to “….give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of gladness for the spirit of heaviness, that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified” (GNV).
 
Among the Broken and Cracked seek to Discover the Assurance of Beauty and Comfort. 
That He might be Glorified.  
 

I met Dr. Michelle Bengtson through WordGirl's writing group last year. I have enjoyed reading her articles and blogs as she holds a wealth of wisdom inside of her. I asked her if she would mind sharing some of her insight on my website and she agreed. Enjoy this helpful information about Holiday depression from Dr. Michelle....

Christmas trees are studded with twinkling lights, carefully placed ornaments from the top branches to the lowest boughs, and prettily wrapped packages blanketing the base of the tree. Cards and letters stuff mailboxes, recounting happy days and well wishes for the days to come. Crowded calendars attest to holiday events from Christmas parties to holiday concerts and tree lighting ceremonies. Music on the radio and in stores offer hopes of merriment, peace, and joy. Even normal television programming is usurped by shows about reindeers, snowmen, and families reuniting to live “happily ever after.” 

Yes, it is that time of year that is festive and bright. But not everyone experiences “holiday cheer” during this time of year. For some, it is a very lonely and sad time. The holidays are not always merry and bright, and depression is a very real experience for many. I’m often asked how does one effectively walk along side one who is depressed?  Especially during the holidays? 

Jesus said, “'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me'” (Matthew 25:40 NIV).

At Christmas, or any other day, when we seek to honor Him, we need only to reach out to those who are lost, broken or hurting, and it pleases Him. But practically, what does that look like when someone is depressed? Because the holidays are hard and often prompt or exacerbate depression for many, when you know that is a factor, engage with them but avoid holiday themed events. Spend time together outside of holiday parties or venues that are heavily decorated. Eliminate the stress of a gift exchange because that adds stress, expectation, and guilt if they aren’t able to reciprocate.

Keep your expectations minimal. For someone battling depression, normal every day activities can seem overwhelming. Honor this and keep your expectations to a minimum. Meet them where it is convenient, and offer to help where you can. 

While you may not be able to relate to depression if you haven’t gone through it yourself, respect and honor their feelings. Understand that depression is a medical condition just like diabetes or heart disease. Know that no one chooses to feel this way. 

Be sensitive to the topics that are painful to them and focus your conversation elsewhere. For example, sometimes the holidays exacerbate depression because of grief or loss of family members. Some individuals will feel a sense of comfort talking about their lost family, while others will feel heightened sadness by this. In the latter, engage them in conversation about less painful topics such as their hobbies or work.

Depression fuels loneliness. Be a wingman for them. To support a friend or loved one who is struggling with depression doesn’t necessarily mean doing anything special—just be there. Sit with them. Be available. Include them in your gatherings, but understand if they decline. Show respect. Love with compassion. 

Before spending time with one who is struggling with depression, pray. Pray for them, and pray to have mercy and grace toward them and their situation.  All any of us wants is to be loved, accepted, and considered worthy.  Yet depression has a way of coloring one’s perspective and lying to them. Pray for an ability to show truth through your words and deeds.

“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15, NLT). 

While we cannot be responsible for someone else’s emotional well-being, we can be the hands and feet of Jesus, showing the same love and compassion He would show. While not wrapped in paper or topped with a perfect bow, that just may be the best gift you offer to anyone this Christmas.

Discover "Hope Prevails" by following Dr. Michelle through her website at:
http://drmichellebengtson.com.
You can also follow her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson.

My daughter and her hubby walked through the door from a trip to Walmart grinning as they plopped a box on the table. My heart did a flip-flop as my eyes caught a glimpse of the contents and I began to imagine how delighted my taste buds were going to be in the morning.  A new coffee maker had been placed on the table. Honestly, I was a little alarmed by my eagerness for the arrival of tomorrow’s sunrise. Who would think a coffee maker could bring such delightful anticipation?
 
You see, for the last few months—at least four of them passing by— our ten-year-old-or-older-coffee maker has not performed to the standard I have known it to be capable of. The discovery of water under the machine one day led me to suspect something was amiss.  Then production began to fall short when ten cups of water percolated only six cups of coffee. We also began to notice the taste was extreme, as in extremely bitter. Oh my! Some mornings my face puckered, my nose crinkled and my eyes watered from the bitterness found in single cup of coffee. We also noted the coffee wasn’t as hot as it should be. Yet, we continued to use it every day.  A pattern was created as we began to hope for a change in the coffee and yet failed to pursue change…until now, when the old was replaced by the new.
 
The next morning, I found my way to our little coffee nook and poured a hot, fresh cup of coffee. It wasn’t bitter, it wasn’t hard to get down, it was simply refreshing and I wondered why we had waited so long to make the change. Instead, we complained about it, we discussed what we saw happening, we wondered why it was behaving as it was. We talked about the bitter taste and how unpleasant it was to drink. Every day there was another tell-tail sign a change was in order and yet, we’d pour water into the same maker hoping this pot of coffee would be better than the last. I can’t believe we talked about the need for a new one - for months! - before finally getting one.
 
Early one morning as I sat with my delicious, fresh cup of steamy hot coffee, I poured out thanks to the Lord for savory goodness found in a new coffee maker. In the quiet of the morning, as I glanced at my cup, I drew in a deep breath and agreed with the knowing deep in my spirit. I knew this wasn’t my first dance with procrastination followed by an invitation to the party of regret. I’ve put off plenty and then wondered why I waited so long once I began to enjoy the benefit I received by taking action. Maybe you can relate? Haven’t we all put off going to the doctor’s and then wondered why we waited so long after the first dose of medicine? I’ve put off seeking answers, which might have prevented loss; advice, which may have prevented heartbreak and admissions which, made earlier, could have prevented the long walk of regret. Far too many times I’ve heard myself say, “Why did I wait so long?”
 
I would never have imagined that, within the box of a new coffee maker, God could unpack valuable life lessons for me; such as less talking and quicker action.  How often do we complain about the unpleasant flavor of our circumstances, yet refuse His offer to taste and see that He is Good (Psalm 34:8)? This might be the moment we set aside our bitter cup and reach for one that holds a fresh change of heart.
 
I also recognize my grumbling about something, or someone, failing to perform to the standard I think they should, does neither of us any good. Instead it should send me seeking the cause. How can we encourage others, and our own selves, to live up to the standard God desires? Pastor Bob Yandian said, “God would rather have you reach for Heaven and miss than reach for the ceiling and hit every time.” This might be the moment we set aside the cup of apathy and pick up the cup holding our God-given abilities. We might also need to set down the cup of criticism and pour ourselves a new cup of compassion.
 
While holding onto Jesus words, “If you ask anything in My name, I will do it” (John 14:14 NKJV), I’ve been guilty of expecting God to answer my prayers for change by plopping it on the counter. I’ve prayed expecting change to appear overnight and according to my will; when I want, where I want, how I want and to whom I want. It’s at this moment the Lord offers me the cup which holds this verse, “This is the [remarkable degree of] confidence which we [as believers are entitled to] have before Him: that if we ask anything according to His will, [that is, consistent with His plan and purpose] He hears us” (1 John 5:14 AMP). Oh, that’s right! His will before mine. His plans over mine. His purpose is far greater than mine. My desire for change must be consistent with His plan and purpose. Peter gave us good advice when he said, “prepare your minds for action and exercise self-control” (1 Peter 1:13). Change takes action but making the right change takes self-control.
 
We can talk about our desire for change, our hope for change. We can even pray for change. But if we continue to drink from the same pot and never pursue God’s answers or advice, change will evade us.  I look back and wonder why we waited so long to make the changes necessary for a great cup of coffee. We suffered needlessly; change was always within reach.
 
Maybe you’ve been longing for change. I’d like to encourage you to seek the Lord for the change you need. Far too often we believe the change we are looking for happens when God changes everyone but us. I’ve discovered this belief to be a lie. The best change happens when we offer ourselves as clay in the Potter’s hand. Prepare your mind for action! Exercise self-control and Allow Him to Bend and Change you. This might help unpack a fresh cup of goodness in those around you.
 
 

I was scrolling through my emails recently on the computer, which had accumulated a rather large number due to a busy few weeks with family. I sat with my finger on the delete key mindlessly deleting emails, when a few words in the subject line caught my eye. They were based on your activity, and were from a store I had purchased a Christmas gift from back in November of last year. They were now trying to entice me to pay them another visit. Based on my activity they wanted to highlight a few options they thought I would be sure to love. I am continually amazed (and somewhat freaked out) by the advertisements that pursue me after one visit to a website. Goodness, searching for a new bedspread brought numerous ideas from companies I’d never heard of! If, based on my activity, the “cloud” can figure me out, it’s probably safe to say the same is true of those with whom I choose to spend my time. It appears much can be discovered about a person based on our activity; our interests, our priorities, family values, work ethic and character are all on display based on our activity.

The Lord used these four words, based on your activity, to capture my attention this week; He planted them within my heart and caused me to contemplate them several times throughout the last few days. I found myself ending every question, complaint, and annoyance, even my acts of thanksgiving with this: based on your activity, why did this fail? Or, based on your activity, how did you contribute to this mess? Or, you rejoice because the Lord saw your heart, based on your activity of prayer and praise. One morning I felt Him do a heart check by asking me, "based on your activity, do your behavior and actions line up with what you say?" Words are easy; the difficulty is matching behavior and actions with the words. I wonder if we began to scroll through the Rolodex of our mind for a little Spiritual inventory, what messages we might find waiting for us based on our activity; what offers might be appealing or enticing to you?  The Lord is going to send messages that lead us away from sin, while our adversary, Satan, is going to send us messages that draw us into it. We must be mindful of the fact that, based on our activity, which offer we found most appealing will be revealed.

The book of Acts reveals the conversion of Sinister Saul into Passionate Paul. Based on his activity, Jesus came to Saul in the midst of a bright white light and asked him, “Saul, Saul, why are you out to get me? Why do you insist on going against the grain?”, (Acts 26:14 MSG). Paul’s activities included persecuting Christians, throwing them into jail and voting for their execution (Acts 26:9-11). He was a bully, harassing anyone who believed in Jesus. However, once he saw Jesus in a different light (literally), the activities of the past were over. Saul was gone, and Paul arrived, ready to follow and obey what God had called him to do. Throughout the New Testament, we can read about Paul's mission to make the message of Jesus known to the Gentiles following his conversion. Standing before King Agrippa he testified that he “…made known openly first of all to those at Damascus, then at Jerusalem and throughout the whole land of Judea, and also among the Gentiles, that they should repent and turn to God, and do works and live lives consistent with and worthy of their repentance” (Acts 26:20 AMP). Paul’s behavior and actions took a drastic turn once Jesus revealed Himself and made clear to Paul God’s plans for his life. But, based on his past activity, the apostles did not trust Paul’s sincerity; he had to prove his life had changed by partaking in new activities. This might be the missing key for many of God’s children today. We speak of our faith, yet, hold tightly to the activities of the past, refusing to allow God’s plan for our life to come to fruition.

These four little words, based on your activity, caused a series of questions to stir within my heart. I’ve decided they are important enough to ask myself as I do a weekly spiritual inventory. I’ll list them so you can use them if you wish:

Based on your activity….

How is your relationship with God? Is there sin you need to confess? 

Do you spend time in prayer and study of the Word?

Is there evidence you have given Him top priority in your life?

Is there anything you must no longer participate in?

Do you live a life of obedience or of convenience?

Do you have idols, people or things, you’ve put before God?

Do you involve yourself in pleasures of the sinful nature, or are you sold out in the ways of Christ?

Where have you allowed your thoughts to take you? 

Have they led you away from Christ or into a deeper relationship with Him?

Does your bank account reflect wise choices or poor?

Based on your activity, if you are married, how is the health of your marriage? Does your spouse know you are committed to them and sense your love for them? While it might be easy for words to spill out of our mouths, declaring love for our spouse, they might have reason to suspect otherwise, based on our activity. If our behavior towards our spouse is unloving and cold, if we refuse to spend time together, and speak cruel and unkind words to each other, well, actions do speak. There are times when our actions are more than a whisper; they are screams into the heart of those we made a vow to love. 

As a parent, do your children see you faithful to your word? Are you faithfully loving and nurturing each child? A parent’s priorities are clear to their children, based on the activity of the parent. When you choose to spend quality time with your child, you reap the benefits of a good relationship. However, a parent who refuses to care properly for their children, attend to their needs, and lovingly nurture them may wonder why they have no relationship with their teenager. Over the course of 18 years, parents have one opportunity to raise a child; one chance to let them know how valued they are. Give them the tools in life they will need to become the person God planned long ago for them to be. Help them learn to live life God’s way by being a parent who clearly had their priorities in order.

Well, it is time, my dear friends; I am holding the mirror up and asking the question, based on my activity do my actions and behavior match the love I say I have for Jesus? I want them to, honest I do, because……

Activities: the state of being active: behavior or actions of a particular kind.    

Betray: to fail or desert especially in time of need, to prove false.

Claims: to say that (something) is true when some people may say it is not true (Merriam-webster.com).