During the month of October, while scrolling through social media posts, comments and articles, I noticed a consistent theme: the lifestyle of the real Christian. While I’ve become accustomed to the many points-of-view Halloween brings, I must say – I was a bit surprised by the presumptions we are quick to make in regards to the authenticity of another’s faith. Especially if convictions differ. The three opinions that caught my eye pertaining to Christians were these: You can’t be a real Christian and 1) celebrate Halloween, 2) send your children to public school or 3) vote for/support President Trump. According to some – your authenticity as a Christian is solely based on your involvement with any of these.
 
As you can imagine, these viewpoints led to much discussion (not all nice), which wasn’t surprising to me. Maybe Solomon was onto something when he wrote, “Through pride and presumption come nothing but strife, but [skillful and godly] wisdom is with those who welcome [well-advised] counsel”(Proverbs 13:10, AMP). Yikes. Some of the harshest words can come through the lips of Christians towards other Christians. 
 
I found the debates (or were they discussions?) in the comments of these conversations a bit perplexing and they caused me to recall an email that caught my eye several months ago. It was an article written by Dr. Josh Axe entitled, “7 Signs Your Salt Lamp is Fake” and it arrived in my inbox right after the election. At that time much of social media was focused on memes and articles analyzing the authenticity of Christians who had voted for Trump. Maybe you saw them too. (In fact, many can still be seen today). I saw quite a few memes revealing what real Christians should be doing with their lives, money and time. If you weren’t living up to these standards, well, it might be time to rethink your Christianity. At the time, I wondered if we really needed to know the signs for fake salt lamps or if the “7 signs Your Christian Lamp is Fake” was a greater need. After the social media scathing’s of last month – I wondered again. So, here I am .... wondering on a blog. 
 
I don’t own a salt lamp. Do you? I never noticed them, felt the need or desire for one. And because I was oblivious to salt lamps I didn’t know there could be benefits to having one. That is, until I read the article by Dr. Axe. He says benefits “supposedly include decreasing air pollution, negative ions and electrosmog caused by electronic devices in addition to symptom reduction for people suffering from asthma, allergies, and other illnesses.” Who knew a salt lamp could do so much? Not I.  Then I realized I wasn’t aware of my need for a deeper relationship with Christ until that was pointed out either. Raised with my backside planted in a church pew each Sunday and every special service – I was pretty sure I had all of the “Christian” I needed. It wasn’t until a time of great loss and suffering did it become clear to me that my Christian lamp was nothing more than a dim imposter.
 
There was nothing genuine about my relationship with Jesus. There was no security in my reliance upon God or the words written in His Book. I was simply a churchgoer who claimed the title, “Christian” because I attended a Christian church. Even after years of Sunday school, youth groups and Bible camps, I held very little knowledge of God and other than a few rote prayers I had no communication with Him. I lived my life according to the Kingdom of Kolleen and pursued happiness for myself. Sometimes it takes a great shaking of our faith to determine the actual depth of it.
 
As I read the article by Dr. Axe, he made it clear that real Himalayan salt is “located on the western edge of the Himalayan Mountains and is the only source of true Himalayan pink salt.” So, if you want a real Himalayan salt lamp, the salt has to come from the western edge of the Himalayan Mountains. Want real? It seems we must go to the place where real is found.
 
I’d say the same is true for someone seeking real Christians: if you want real you must go to where Christ can be found. Where might that be? Just as you must go to the Himalayan Mountain if you want pure Himalayan salt, you must go to the place where you going to find the purity of the Lord – His Word. Many are asking where the real Christians are – but would you be able to recognize them if they were standing among you? Perhaps the reason we can't see them is because, according to Christianity Today, there is an epidemic of Bible illiteracy. Seems many don’t care much for Bible reading but we do enjoy our presumptions. 

Dr. Axe also shared this little nugget with his readers: “a salt lamp is not a lamp at all if it doesn’t have the light and heat source within it. Without that, it’s just a block of salt.” Interesting. Jesus referred to Himself as Light. He said, “I have come as Light into the world so that everyone who believes and trusts in Me [as Savior—all those who anchor their hope in Me and rely on the truth of My message] will not continue to live in darkness” (John 12:46, AMP). So, if a salt lamp is fake without the light and heat source, it seems reasonable to say a Christian is not a Christian at all if they don’t have the Source, the Light of Jesus, within them.

Without Jesus, they are just a block of … what? 

As we allow God to change our identity - one letter at a time - may we become authentic lamps of the One, True, Light source.

#BeYou
​L-Light

​Stay tuned for part two of The Seven Signs...

 I wasn’t much of a football fan before Pat and I married. My football priorities were cheering my then-hunky-boyfriend, Pat, from the cheering squad as he played on our high school team. I never understood much about the game; football was, for me, much like high school - I was simply there for the social aspect. (And to spend extra time with Pat.) Now, when football season starts, our Sunday's are spent cheering together for the Green Bay Packers. With the vow of taking Pat as a husband also came the vow of cheering for the Green Bay Packers. A lot of football talk takes place here. Often. There are fantasy teams to attend to, games to watch and trivia to discuss. 

And I rarely pay any attention to any of it. 

That is, until recently when I began to take notice of a term I hear often: protecting the pocket.

I had a vague idea of what the term meant but looking it up — and getting the inside scoop from Pat — I discovered it is the “area behind the line of scrimmage where the quarterback is protected from rushing defenders. If looked at from above, it appears as if the quarterback is in a "pocket" of protection behind the offensive line. If a quarterback leaves the pocket, they put themselves at risk of getting sacked.” 

Even I know the last thing any coach, team or fan wants to see is your quarterback sacked. This indicates a defender was able to find a weak spot and break through the line. And a sack always comes with a price. It might be...

•    the loss of a down. – you only have four downs, or plays, to score or gain 10 yards.  
•    the loss of yards – you’ve gone backward and now have a further distance to go to get that first down. 
•    the chance of a fumble – losing the ball altogether.

There’s also the mental aspect that happens to a player when a sack occurs.

•    Fear of it happening again – intimidation.
•    Discouragement for those on the line for not protecting the pocket. 
•  The possibility of injury to your quarterback. (We saw this happen when Aaron Rodgers was sacked and suffered a broken clavicle ☹). 

I can see why protecting the pocket is an important part of the game of football. The tighter the line, the more secure the quarterback.  The more secure the quarterback, the better chance the team has of making the plays. The more completed plays, the better the chance of scoring the touchdown that leads to victory.  And that’s what every team is after, right? Victory.  

I can also see why God would want us protected in the pocket, too. 

Imagine for a moment your life as a football game and you’re the quarterback trying to make your way to the goal God has for you. The same is true for you as it is for the quarterback in football – leave the pocket of protection and you risk getting sacked. Why? Because of the many rushing defenders trying to hold your offensive line with the intention of preventing you from scoring the touchdown. Their objective is to break through the line, sack you and cause you to suffer; either a lost down, lost yards or the same mental crisis players face: fear, intimidation, and discouragement. 

Emotions such as these can become defenders on the line pushing back against our offense trying to break into the pocket for a sack. What do we have on our offensive team protecting us while we’re in the pocket? Paul put a great offensive lineup in place for us in Ephesians 6…

“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Ephesians 6:14-17, NIV).

If your offensive line is weak, there’s a good chance your pocket is going to be unprotected and a sack may occur. I think every quarterback wants to know so they can be protected, don't you? 

So, where is your line weak? 

Have you buckled the belt of truth around your waist? For instance, who’s truth do you listen to and accept? If I were to tell you that as a result of Jesus death on the cross, you stand before Him holy and blameless, without a single fault, would you accept this as truth (Colossians 1:22)? Deception and lies are the defenders at the line trying to push back against the offensive line of truth. 

Is the breastplate of righteousness in place? Proverbs 4:23 tell us to “Guard our heart above all else for it determines the course of your life.” How do you protect your heart? An unprotected heart can leave us sacked and suffering. It might be a loss of a down, yards, or even through a mental crisis. I can testify to suffering a few sacks after allowing my heart to go unprotected. Disappointment and rejection can be defenders at this line trying to push back against the offensive breastplate of righteousness. 

Are your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace? Ready means having the ability to respond without delay or hesitation. What is your response time to peace? Peter wrote that we should search for peace and work to maintain it (1 Peter 3:11). If I'm not careful I can be consumed by worry. Are your days full of conflict either with yourself or others? Anxiety and Strife are the defenders at this line trying to break the line of offense against the gospel of peace. 

Have you taken up the shield of faith? Paul told us it’s this shield that is able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Not just a few: all. When the shield of faith is engaged we are able to step up into the eye of the storm while the offensive line pushes back against the defenders. In the eye of the storm, there is peace even when the storm is raging all around. Pat showed me a perfect example of this during the Patriot vs. Jets game when Tom Brady’s offensive line protected him perfectly so he could fall back and then step up into the “eye of the storm” and complete the play. While the storm is raging around you, in the eye of it, there's peace. How strong is your shield? Do you have faith to believe you can overcome what He says you can overcome? Doubt and unbelief are the defenders pushing back against your line of offense where your shield of faith stands ready. 

Have you put on the helmet of salvation? Football players never play the game without a helmet – why? Because they recognize the protection it provides. One hit without the helmet could be disastrous.  We, too, must always protect our mind. If you focus on the wrong thing - you’ll believe the wrong thing about yourself and others. Wrong thoughts lead to wrong destinations. Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Insecurity and accusation are just two defenders pushing against your offensive line to break it. 

And then there is the sword of the Spirit – the word of God: How well do you know the Word? When trying to break through the line of defenders – it’s the use of the word, backed by faith that pushes the defenders back. Football players have a playbook; they study the playbook; and they know the playbook so when game day arrives - they are ready.  Our sword is the Word of God and when we know it well, we are able to recognize the defender's strategy as they attempt to break the pocket. Apathy and inconsistency might be two defenders seeking to break through your offensive line here. 

Pat also pointed out to me that in football the defenders never go anywhere—you must be on offense to move towards the goal. The truth is, in life, if you are always on the defense, you’re not going to move forward either. You may think you are – but in reality – you’re not. If you feel stuck and you can’t figure out why it might be time to do a little inventory and be honest with yourself.  Do you often get defensive when someone challenges your thoughts, words, or actions? Be honest. If you always feel the need to defend yourself maybe it's time to move from defense to offense. 

There are plenty of defenders on the line trying to break the pocket and bring you down with a sack. 

Deception and lies
Disappointment and rejection
Anxiety and Strife
Insecurity and accusation
Apathy and inconsistency

but there are others: bitterness, jealousy, pride, rebellion, shame, anger, as well as control.

If we allow God to change our identity – one letter at a time – we might just discover which defender is causing us the most trouble. Once it's identified - seek to repair the line. Victory happens when the offensive line is strongest.

#BeYou
V-Victorious

My good friend Kelley has a goal. After struggling with a few health issues, she realized that, for her, exercise was much more enjoyable when she spent time outdoors than anything she could do inside, so she decided to try hiking. She started by simply walking through the beautiful nature trails around her home. Then she began trekking on the trails within the Adirondack Mountains. Before she knew it she was hooked and began researching her way to complete her goal of climbing as many Adirondack Mountains possible.

I began following her journey when she started sharing pictures on social media of herself standing on the top of each mountain, or Fire Tower, she had climbed. There she would be - covered in sweat but clothed with a radiant smile and a gorgeous view behind her. It seemed every week she had embarked on a new adventure and was able to cross one more mountain off her bucket list.  After a few months she set a goal for herself to become part of The Saranac Lake 6er Club. It’s a club for those who complete the Adirondack Peaks of McKenzie Mt., Ampersand Mt., Scarface Mt., Haystack Mt., St. Regis Mt., and Mt. Baker. When you complete your sixth mountain climb you share your accomplishment by the ringing of “The 6er Bell” which hangs in downtown Saranac Lake and your name is added to an ever-growing member roster. Kelley rang that bell to the cheers of many almost one year to the day she took her first climb. She’d done such a great job of making hiking look fun and easy, I began to have a hankering to tackle a mountain myself. So, I mentioned to her one day that I’d love to join her when our schedules allowed that to happen.

Letting her know I was interested seemed easy enough. I was interested, after all. After several failed scheduling attempts she called one day to let me know she was heading out on a hike around Nick’s Lake in Old Forge. She said this hike would be great for a beginner, which I was. I finally had no reason to say, "I can't," or "It's not going to work for me." "Yes!” I said. Then she gave me the details … and just like that apprehension replaced excitement. I suddenly liked it better when my commitment level was simply the words of interest I’d spoken. On one hand it looked rewarding and fun, yet on the other hand it now sounded challenging, and her schedule was going to require a change in my morning routine.

While I am an early riser, my mornings usually begin with a cup of hot tea and quiet time in prayer. After years of providing daycare and now as a stay-at-home Mimi, quiet time before the busyness of the day is a must-have for me. However, meeting Kelley for a hike would require my leaving the house by 7 a.m. for the nearly two-hour drive to meet her. As the day approached I felt panicked hesitation growing within me for the commitment I’d made. It had been so easy to say I wanted to join her – at the time. But now I began to regret my “yes” answer as I realized not only would my morning routine be disrupted, I would be completely out of my comfort zone and challenged physically beyond what I had been in a very long time. This isn’t going to end well I thought. Would I be able to do this?

The evening before our excursion I felt conflicted as I dug through closets in search of a backpack. Of course, the only item close to a backpack was an old bag with a drawstring attached; there would be no guessing who the newbie was on this hike. How disappointed would Kelley be if I cancelled due to the fact I didn’t have a stylish backpack? Was that reason enough for excusing myself until a time when I was braver? My husband didn’t think it was. And so, going through the list of important items Kelley recommended I bring, I began loading them into the bag. “Whatever you do, don’t forget the bug spray. You’re going to want that!” She told me. “Great” I thought. The next morning I gathered my things—as well as my courage—and took off for the Adirondack Mountains to meet my friend and my new experience.

Deep down I had a feeling I would be rejoicing after our time together that day; and I was. I still am. Taking those initial steps on my first-ever-five-mile hike through the woods within the Adirondack Park was hard. My legs weren’t quite ready for the stepping, lifting, and bending that were required of them. Likewise, my arms weren’t ready for the reaching and pulling they were forced to participate in either. But I did it, and boy did it feel great to know I hadn’t been stopped by the fear of leaving my comfort zone. It all came down to making a sacrifice intent on doing something new and different. I can get so caught up in the safety found in my routine.
​
One of my favorite moments of the day was driving along the winding roads to Old Forge and having the beautiful Adirondack Mountains come into view. I felt such a sense of awe come over me and I found myself pondering these words that drifted through my thoughts. If you want to climb a mountain, you must go to the mountain. Well, didn’t that make perfect sense? Achieving any desire requires putting forth the necessary effort to make it happen. Whether facing a mountain of fear and insecurity, or debt and unpaid bills, the only sure way to fulfill the desire is to go and begin the hike. I had almost skipped out on the entire day because of my fear of the unknown. If I had stayed home that day, allowing myself to remain in the rut of routine, I might never have discovered my love for hiking.

My birthday gift from my husband that year was a pair of hiking boots, which not only have I worn for many more hikes with my friend Kelley, but several hikes with my husband too. We were able to hike a few mountains in Colorado in the fall of 2016 as well as enjoying our journey up Black Bear Mountain in the Adirondack’s with our daughter and her family. It’s quite entertaining—and a little unnerving—to hike with the grandchildren but it’s become an adventure I plan to continue taking.
​
Oh joy! Kelley just informed me of the Lake George challenge. After a long winter’s rest, I guess it’s time to dust off my hiking boots. John Muir said, “the mountains are calling and I must go.” It’s time to leave the comfort zone.
 

I’ve been thinking about writing a post on hope since March. Yes, that is correct, March. It is now September. I decided long ago I would title the post, Steadfast in Hope, because my word of 2017 has been steadfast. It seemed appropriate since I’ve been working to be steadfast: firm in belief, determination and adherence, throughout these months of 2017. (It took me six months to complete this, how's that for remaining steadfast?) Steadfast hope is like an anchor to me: while the boat may rock with the waves, it’s not going anywhere. (Just like this post) So, pressing on with determination - I finally post this article, Steadfast in Hope. 
 
After doing a word study, I discovered the word hope in the Scriptures, comes from the Hebrew word, tiqvah, and literally means, cord or rope, as an attachment. So, hope is the rope that attaches us to that which we desire with expectation of fulfillment (Merriam-webster.com). Maybe that’s why I struggle to cling to the rope of hope when life becomes messy. I’ve been attaching the rope to the wrong thing.
 
I’m not joking when I say there have been moments I’ve found my hands slipping from the rope of hope. I mean, seriously: spending five-minutes listening to the news, reading through social media or simply standing in the line at the store can cause the most hope-filled soul to lose their grip. Maybe that’s why I’ve been hesitant to put my thoughts onto paper; if I write them and proclaim ways to remain steadfast in hope does this mean I’m never allowed doubt or question again? I suppose that just seems silly. Who among us is free from ever doubting or offering up a question or two when hope clashes with what’s happening around us?
 
Solomon was incredibly wise when he warned us that, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12, NLT). Deferred as in withheld. I probably could be the poster child for this verse. Deferred payments on that loan might be convenient but when it comes to my hope being deferred, well, my grip slips. I know I shouldn’t attach my rope of hope to people – they have a way of disappointing and letting down, myself included. I also shouldn’t attach the rope to circumstances because just when I think I’ve got life figured out, change occurs. And goodness, attaching the rope to a president, the world, or religious leader leaves a sickness in my heart I can’t even describe when I perceive failure… of any kind. It’s just heartrending. I get it. I understand completely how easily the heart is bruised when hope is deferred. Maybe this is where I need to place a knot on the rope of hope and hold onto Romans 5:5 which says, “hope does not disappoint, because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (MEV). Hope does not disappoint – when we’ve attached the rope of hope to the heart of Who God is.
 
It’s taken me many years to understand the connection between attaching my hope to friends, circumstance, or world and religious leaders, and the downcast heart that arises and seeks to overtake me when all I’ve hoped for is only met with disappointment. However, expecting my desires to always be fulfilled in my time, and in my way, is unrealistic. This is why I need to attach myself to steadfast hope. It’s in these moments I must remind myself of David’s instruction to Saul when Goliath filled the Israelites with fear and hopelessness, “Let no man’s heart fail because of him” (1 Samuel 17:32). Regardless of what giant is standing before me, my hope needs to be attached to God, the God of hope, whom “fills you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope” (Romans 15:13, ESV).
 
Steadfast hope is remaining encouraged and confident when life is messy and hard; it knows that regardless of what my eyes see in front of me, God is up to something inside of me. Holding onto the rope of hope in the midst of suffering is trusting God’s plan when I can’t trust my own. Oswald Chambers said, “Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.” 
 
We’re all trying hard to hold onto the rope of hope for something, aren’t we? Especially now, after the horrible aftermath left by Hurricane Harvey, the wildfires which are consuming homes out west and news of Hurricane Irma barreling across the Atlantic. With our grip on the rope, we hope for…
 
- survival
- recovery
- healing
- opportunity
- favor
- discovery
- assurance
- freedom
- plenty
- self-control
- mending
- forgiveness
- approval
 
 
Yes, we hope and hope and hope.
 
The Psalms reveal to us David’s heart of hope, when he found his grip slip on the rope of hope he wrote, “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become restless and disturbed within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence” (Psalm 42:11, AMP).
 
Hopelessness is a consuming force, and it wants to have its way in our heart and mind, leading us into despair and the belief that all is lost. If that’s you, ask the Lord to reveal where, or to what, you’ve attached the rope of hope. Let go of misplaced hope and grab tightly onto the rope of hope that attaches to Christ. If hope is deferred, then learn to wait. As we seek to change our identity – one letter at a time – we must learn to confidently attach our rope of hope on the Lord.
 
“And now, Lord, for what do I expectantly wait? My hope [my confident expectation] is in You” (Psalm 39:7, AMP).
 
#BeYou
S-Steadfast in Hope
 
 
 
 
 

Have you ever been presented with an opportunity yet failed to take advantage of it and then regretted your decision when the consequences were revealed? I sure have. I’ve missed opportunities, ignored warnings and, once regret had a chance to settle over me, I’ve tried to regain what was lost. I’ve gone so far as to ignore the consequences while trying to reset the opportunity. (One such event took place in high school when I broke up with my high school sweetheart, Pat, and then decided to fix him up with one of my friends. Girls, don’t ever do that.) Anyhow, I was reading through Scripture recently—Numbers chapter 14 to be exact—and was reminded again of this truth: the best life plan is always following God’s plan for life. Oh, and this: keep the complaining to a minimum.
 
For those not familiar with Numbers 14, let me give you a quick summary; the Israelites had just been given a “bad report” about the land the Lord had promised to them; the land they had left Egypt for. This caused them to complain (repeatedly) against Moses, against Aaron and against God, which eventually led to the Lord drawing the line. Really. He drew the line. He was ready to disinherit them (vs. 12) until Moses begged for a pardon (vs. 19). However, He would refuse entry into the Promised Land. All who rejected God would never see the land (vs. 23) and they actually received a death sentence for their grumbling and complaining (vs. 26-36). They would miss the opportunity to prosper in the land because rather than listen to the two who offered the promise of victory – they accepted the negative words of the ten who voiced defeat. 
 
But something happened when Moses revealed to them the cost of that decision…
 
They decided they would go regardless. Can you believe it? After hearing God’s message, they mourned the loss and then, “…they got up early the next morning and went to the top of the range of hills. ‘Let’s go,’ they said. ‘We realize that we have sinned, but now we are ready to enter the land the Lord has promised us’ (vs. 40, NLT). Well now. I thought this seemed a bit presumptuous and Moses confirmed he did as well when he said, “I spoke to you, but you would not listen. Instead you rebelled against the command of the Lord, and acted presumptuously and went up into the hill country” (Deuteronomy1:43, AMP). After all, they were warned. They had their chance and they blew it. But before I become too comfortable in the saddle of my high horse I am reminded presumptuous moments are common to all of us. No matter what our age. 
 
Quick flashbacks raced through my mind to some of the battles I’ve encountered through the years as I’ve spent a good portion of my life with children. I’ve had plenty of opportunity to listen to the grumbles and complaints about the food I’ve set before the kids in my care. After awhile I would say, “If you don’t eat your food, you won’t get one of the cookies I have for you.” I recall one little boy who refused to eat, left the table and when I tossed his lunch he walked away as if he had won. That is until the other kids received their cookie and he went without. Consequences usually sting a bit. But he wouldn’t be deterred from having that cookie. Walking into the kitchen a while later, I found the same little boy—toes dug into the handle of the cabinet—shoving cookies into his mouth. He may as well have said,  “I realize I was supposed to eat my lunch but now I’m ready to have that cookie I was promised, so I am taking it!” I bet we’ve all pulled a few of those stunts. I even recall a few instances as a teenager when warnings by my parents went unheeded, leading to consequences. However, with great determination I set out to do my own thing regardless of what they said (Sorry mom and dad.)
 
Discovering their plan to push forward, Moses warned them again saying, “‘Now why do you transgress the command of the Lord? For this will not succeed.  Do not go up, lest you be defeated by your enemies, for the Lord is not among you’” (vs.41-42).  Verse 44 says, “But they presumed to go up to the mountaintop.”  They went anyway. They were defeated.
 
Merriam-Webster defines presumptuous as, overstepping due bounds (as of propriety or courtesy) and taking liberties. Oh dear. I can see now that I too, have taken liberties and overstepped the boundaries God has set for me.  
 
I have overstepped bounds when I’ve presumed to know what was best for others.
I’ve overstepped bounds when I’ve presumed my way is the only way.
I have presumed to understand the “bigger picture” when in reality I didn’t have a clue.
I have overstepped with God when I’ve presumed He needed to bend to me, rather than my bending to Him.
I’ve overstepped when I have presumed my cares were too small for Him.
I’ve taken liberties with His Word of Instruction.
I have taken liberties with the holiness of His Name.
I’ve taken liberties with the time He has given me.
I have overstepped boundaries with my complaining and ingratitude.
 
I know I’m not alone in this. I have seen what happens to families when a spouse oversteps boundaries with a co-worker. I’ve seen what happens when liberties are taken through unethical standards in business. We presume, overstep boundaries and take liberties within our families and with our friends. We also take liberties with God when we press forward to attain a goal, a marriage, a job, a choice, not of His choosing – but our own. But you know what happens when we go up the mountain without God? Our attempts become as futile as the Israelites were. He's not going to be there. 
 
Changing my identity – one letter at a time – requires relinquishing my demands and presumptions as I learn to live in step with the Lord. I wait for His invitation and follow His instruction before I overstep any boundaries and take any liberties!

Be You
Be Willing to R-Relinquish 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 Every time the word steadfast appears before my eyes a reminder comes along with it. The Lord challenged me by giving me the word steadfast for 2017 – it’s my word to live by. In January, I felt He gave me understanding of my responsibility to live steadfast; by becoming firm in belief, determined to walk by faith and not by sight, as well as to, adhere to Him rather than people.
 
As the month of February begins so does the focus of love, after all, February is the month of love, right? And Valentine’s Day, draws our attention to all things love: flowers and candy. For some, the day might include jewelry or a nice romantic dinner, but even with all the sweetness, I can't help but wonder if we've become misguided in our expressions of love. Don’t get me wrong, as a lover of gifts, I’m rather fond of receiving my card from my sweetheart; I can also be enraptured by a good love story.  But what if love isn’t about flowers, candy, jewelry or romantic dinners? These days I find myself wondering if we’ve confused real love with a superficial love that “presents only an appearance without substance or significance”(Merriam-Webster.com)?
 
Merriam-Webster defines substance this way; ultimate reality that underlies all outward manifestations and change; and significance as the quality of being important. So true love is supposed to be the ultimate reality, which underlies our outward expression. If my love had substance to it, then everything—my words and actions—would flow from this place of truth and importance. I’ve grown weary of a love that only appears loving but has no truth behind it.  You too? In my perfect-love-story-world everyone is kind, there are no snarky remarks, hurt feelings or social media character attacks. I wonder if God is weary of it too.
 
Paul wrote, “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good” (Romans 12:9, NLT). Wow. I guess it’s time to confess: I’m guilty of pretending. I haven’t always done an exceptional job hating the wrong, rather than the one I believe to be in the wrong. While “hate” is a strong word, and I truly don’t hate anyone, sometimes it takes effort to discover the good I’m supposed to hold tightly to, and honestly, there are times I don’t want to put in the effort. It’s easier to turn away mad. It has taken me years to discover that while I may not always agree with everyone—I may not even like everyone—God can help me genuinely love everyone, regardless of our differences. I know it's possible because I’ve come to realize this nugget of truth: love can’t be driven by feelings, sometimes…love just must be.
 
One characteristic of God that I cherish most is His steadfast love. It brings me great comfort knowing God’s love is firmly fixed in place. It’s not going anywhere. And it’s not superficial. He doesn’t lavish His love on us to make us feel good, or for public appearances. His nature is to love us. It’s who He is.  And those who are born of God share this nature of love. How is that possible?  “Because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:5, NET).
 
When conflict arises we will never know how to correctly communicate and resolve the issue unless we understand that true love should flow continuously from of a heart filled with God’s love. For all those people who rub you the wrong way and you just don’t like, well, you are called to love them because God does. This is how Jesus was able to say, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44-45a, NIV). 
 
Loving someone who hasn’t made life easy can be a challenge. Yet, when I allow God to change my identity—one letter at a time—I am set free from pretending so I can display a love that remains steadfast, loyal and faithful.
 
“According to Your steadfast love refresh me and give me life, So that I may keep and obey the testimony of Your mouth” (Psalm 119:88, AMP).
 
Be You.
Be S-Steadfast in love.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Do you pray and ask the Lord to give you a word to live by for each approaching new year? As 2017 approached, I felt inspired by others to ask the Lord to reveal His word for me in 2017. I’ve only done this one other time in my life. It was at the end of 2010 when we were encouraged by our pastor at the New Year’s Eve service to seek God for a word; He gave me one: release. I clenched tightly to that word, hoping this meant the Lord was finally going to release me to fulfill the dreams brewing within my heart. I was feeling contained behind a locked gate—such as a racehorse might feel within the starting barrier surrounding him—as I waited for the Lord to let me loose. For years, I’ve had a deep sense within me God had called me to serve Him, and after making a mess with my plans, I decided it was time to wait for His. So, wait I did. For almost four years.
 
They were four years of instruction, correction and tears, some of the most painful and challenging years of my life, but also the ones producing the greatest fruit in my spiritual life. So, when God spoke to my heart 2011 would be a year of release, I was ready. I was more than ready! And what a year it was, as God supernaturally opened the gate and released me into His plans and purposes. They were far greater, than I could imagine for myself, and oh-so-very-different. I would never have imagined God would take my identity crisis and turn it into a book.
 
Before Jesus, my words were often harsh, critical and bossy (a relative once pointed out, quite passionately, all of my overbearing ways). After finding Jesus, while trying to curb those offensive tendencies and still finding criticism, I’d become convinced what I had to say was either wrong, silly or of little importance; to put my heart in a book seemed overwhelmingly unrealistic. Which, it was, for this girl who never had dreams or desire to write. The girl who had become guilty of coveting the gifts of others. The girl who had begun to wonder if God had a purpose for her, or even saw her. But saw her He did. I felt a little like Hagar, Sarai’s maid. She fled from Sarai, after conceiving a child by Abraham (which turned ugly in so many ways) and then had an encounter with the Angel of the Lord in the desert. After receiving her mandate to go back, “she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, ‘You are God Who Sees’; for she said, ‘Have I not even here [in the wilderness] remained alive after seeing Him [who sees me with understanding and compassion]” (Genesis 16:13, AMP)?  Moved by His wonderful heart of compassion and grace, He chose to take what seemed overwhelmingly unrealistic and turn it into a reality for His plans and purposes.
 
As I prayed for the Lord to reveal His word for me for 2017, I began to sense steadfast was my word-of-the-year. Steadfast? Lord, why? Have I not been steadfast? I think I was secretly hoping for another year of release. With steadfast defined as firmly fixed and not subject to change, I was convinced I live a steadfast life already. After all, change stretches me and I think my hubby, or kids, would disclose how firmly fixed I am capable of being. But then I moved to the next definition: firm in belief, determination or adherence. Oh ouch. There it is. While I may be steadfast in my belief in Jesus and my love for God—as well as in my desire to walk out my daily life in obedience to Him—I have not been steadfast in other areas. I have not remained firm in belief that my identity is found exclusively in Him. I often fail in my determination to walk by faith and not by sight. Rather than adhere to Him for acceptance, sometimes I discover myself still greedy for the approval of others.
 
After a day of quiet study and prayer, I think I have gained understanding of what He is looking for in 2017 from my steadfast heart. And honestly, I have work to do to become firm in belief, determined to walk by faith and not by sight and adhere to Him rather than people. My verse is from 1 Corinthians 15:58, “Therefore, my beloved brothers and sisters, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord [always doing your best and doing more than is needed], being continually aware that your labor [even to the point of exhaustion] in the Lord is not futile nor wasted [it is never without purpose]” (AMP).
 
I know God likes to surprise us by taking what seems overwhelmingly unrealistic and making it a reality. What do you consider to be overwhelmingly unrealistic in your life right now? If we’re going to allow God to change our identity, one letter at a time, we must remember what may seem impossible for us isn’t “for with God nothing [is or ever] shall be impossible” (Luke 1:37, AMP).
 
Anything is P-Possible.
What’s your word for 2017?
 

After enjoying a wonderful week in Virginia with my grandsons I was looking forward to returning home. I always get homesick for Pat when distance separates.  We’d made plans to meet in Harrisburg on Saturday for lunch where I would transfer my belongings from my son’s truck to our car. What we hadn’t planned was a shutdown at Pat’s work, causing them to declare Saturday a mandatory workday for Pat. “We’ll figure out how to get you home, mom” my son said. After reviewing our options we concluded a flight from Dulles to Rochester was the most economical and convenient. This would spare parents, children and Mimi more than six hours driving in a car. Our daughter agreed to pick me up in Rochester and drive me the 90+ miles home. It seemed we had worked out all the specifics for me to be back home by 6 p.m. Saturday. Lao Tzu once said, “A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.” I’ll need to remember this the next time I fly. 
 
On Friday I received a text message from the airline. Glancing at my phone I discovered I had been assigned a new seat due to an aircraft swap. That’s fine, I thought to myself.  When I arrived at the airport I received another text message from the airline letting me know my plane had been delayed. Rather than the 12:50 p.m. departure it would now depart at 1:50 p.m. After letting my daughter know of the delay, I checked in. Passing through all of the security procedures, without incident, I hopped on the shuttle and made my way to gate A1e. Pulling my book from my bag, I settled into a chair in the corner and began my wait. An announcement was made, another text received, informing travelers the flight would now leave at 1:30 p.m., arriving at 2:52 p.m. I sent the update to my daughter, who was trying to make her plan for the almost two-hour drive. She had already left to run errands on the way—but with a five and three-year-old—her hang-out time would be limited.
 
It wasn’t long before another update arrived: departure again at 1:50 with a 3:12 p.m. arrival. This would continue for the next two-or-more hours. The next update was departure at 2:15 p.m. with arrival at 3:37 p.m. and then another update: 4:45 p.m. departure with a 6:07 p.m. arrival. I called my daughter, offering this advice; “Don’t leave home until I know for sure this plane is actually going to leave with me on it today.” I was beginning to lose hope it would.
 
Around 2:00 p.m. another update came with news our gate had been changed. Everyone waiting for the flight to Rochester would need to gather their things and make their way down to gate A5e. I was thankful my Fitbit had been fully charged. I did feel for the poor aides traveling with the elderly woman who was suffering from what appeared to be dementia. It was a very long day for them and their dog. Another update brought hope of a 4:15 p.m. departure and 5:37 p.m. arrival, but that was short-lived by an announcement they had made a mistake.  We would actually depart at 4:50 p.m. and arrive in Rochester at 6:12 p.m. Finally, there was hope. But sitting next to a new friend, we felt it was best to take the wait-and-see approach. When we were actually on the plane rolling down the runway, we would believe it.
 
Patience became more difficult with every delay, not just for me, but for everyone inconvenienced by the delay. Plans had been interrupted, connecting flights missed, and no one had clear understanding as to why. First we were told the reason for the delay was due to operations. Then we were told weather was the cause, which seemed impossible since it was forty degrees in Rochester. Finally, after hours of waiting I discovered the truth: The crew and the airplane were in different places and we were waiting for each to arrive. Apparently we couldn’t leave without a plane and the plane couldn’t fly without the crew. It all made sense now.
 
Well, the crew and plane finally arrived and once the plane was serviced we were boarded and on our way to Rochester. Sarah arrived at the airport at just the right time after a day of uncertainty for her as to when she should leave. I finally made it home, more tired and much later than I had expected, but I was home.
 
Now, I won’t try and speak for you, but I know for myself, I struggle with patience. I’ve struggled with it my entire life. I’ve grown frustrated with any timetable that didn’t match my expectations. It didn’t matter if it was with my kids, my husband, family, friends, myself, or God, If I was waiting longer than I wanted, I was usually frustrated. I probably wouldn’t have lasted those forty years in the wilderness with the Israelites. And how about all those years of silence when God hadn’t been heard from for years? From the prophecies of Isaiah, which foretold of Jesus’ coming, they waited a long time for it to happen. Delays make me want to stand up and yell, “Why? What is taking so long?”

1. A delay can bring disappointment. Everyone on the flight had phone calls to make and schedules to rearrange, each disappointed when plans fell through. While there had been a big mess-up, the airline was working to get the crew, and the plane, in the same place at the same time. I am often disappointed when my plans don’t work out as I had hoped, many times forgetting God is behind the scenes, quietly working on my behalf. He needs to get all the pieces to our life puzzle connected in the right place at just the right time. I often forget this requires obedience for all involved. 
2. A delay can lead to doubt.  I felt the seed of doubt growing within me with each passing update. The reason? Every announcement felt like an excuse and I became less confident I was hearing truth. This led me to begin to lose faith in this airline. Ever lose faith in someone because they consistently failed to keep their word? Seeds of doubt can easily take root when our expectations are unmet—causing us to lose faith—tempting us to rush to make decisions. 
3. A delay is not a denial. With every update of delay I began to wonder if I would eventually be told there would be no flight to Rochester that night. I began to form a plan, and prepare myself, if that happened. I wondered how long I should wait before putting the next steps into motion. I’ve done the same while waiting on God to move. The longer the delay, the easier it becomes to assume God’s answer is no. After all, how long should one wait for God to answer a prayer?
4. A delay can determine destiny. As I waited I was reminded of Joseph. He had two dreams that put him in the pit at the hands of his brothers. Then, thanks to Potiphar’s wife, he found himself in prison. Years later he would find himself within Pharaoh’s palace, overseeing all the land of Egypt (Genesis 41).  Seemingly forgotten while in prison, the delay would ensure Joseph was right where he needed to be when a famine in all the land would bring his brothers and father to him seeking food. But God was seeking something more in all of the delays. He was working all things in Joseph’s life together for the good of his family (Romans 8:28). 

It’s easy to become agitated by the waiting time of a delay and yet, so often God allows them to fulfill His plans in the “working it all out for good.” We just need to learn to wait well. Think of it: Joseph waited nearly thirty years before he saw his brothers again. Abraham and Sarah waited over twenty years to hold Isaac in their arms. David wouldn’t be crowned king for approximately twenty years after Samuel first anointed him. And Isaiah’s prophecies about the birth of a Child would be fulfilled a mere 700 years later.
 
Do you find yourself sitting? Waiting during a delay? We find ourselves waiting in prayer for:

• couples longing to hold a baby in their arms
• reconciliation of broken marriages/relationships
• a good-report from the Doctor
• someone needing employment
• a loved-one bound by drug addiction
• healing for those devastated by loss
• the prodigal to return

 
So many delays with so many occasions to lose hope but One reason not to: God. Remember a delay is not a denial it simply provides us the opportunity to allow God to work in His way, in His time, and for that, we must learn to trust.
 
“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance”(2 Peter 3:8-9, NIV).
 
Be You.
Be Confident in His plan.

Praying 2017 brings answers to some of our delays. 

​Merry Christmas. 
 ​

As we flip the calendar from August and usher in September, we say farewell to our summer vacations and hello to fall; the season of back-to-school, cooler temperatures and one of the highlights of our family: football. Yes, it’s time, once again, for the fantasy season. But did you know there is another bonus to September? It is also Women’s Friendship Month and we’ve been given an entire month to honor and celebrate those dear friends of ours. How will you honor your bestie?
 
Without a doubt, we all have been blessed—in one way or another—by the gift of friendship. You may be fortunate to have a friend that has been with you over your lifetime. There are those who appear for only a season while others, let’s just say, they show up for a reason. They are the friends whom the Lord uses to teach us lessons; the valuable heart-crushing kinds of lessons. For every friendship I’ve had over the years, I can honestly say each one has made some type of impact in my life. Can’t you? Thinking about the gift of friendship I was reminded of the story of David and Jonathan’s friendship in the book of First Samuel. These boys had a friendship that went deep. So deep, in fact, they made a covenant with one another. When Jonathan’s father, Saul, acted out against David to kill him, Jonathan did whatever he could to protect the life of his friend. Jonathan knew his father’s actions were wrong and regardless of family ties, he defended—even protected David—from his father’s intention to kill him. That’s faithfulness, isn’t it? 
 
As thoughts of friendship danced through my head, I began considering some of the qualities I admire most in those who bless me with their friendship. It turns out—after seeking input through social media—we agree that…
 
We are thankful for faithful friends who:

1. Accept our uniqueness as well as the gifts and callings God has put within us. Jonathon met David after he killed Goliath and the Bible says, “Jonathan was deeply impressed with David—an immediate bond was forged between them and he became totally committed to David. From that point on he would be “David’s number-one advocate and friend” (1 Samuel 18:1, The MSG). We all need a friend who will be our number-one-advocate, don’t we? Those who will believe the best in us, even when they may witness the worst in us. They provide a safe, judgment free zone, where unconditional love is evident. They exemplify the character of God as they freely offer grace, mercy and love. When we accept our friends, unconditionally, through the good, the bad and the ugly, we cultivate authenticity, as we grow to become the best version of who God created us to be.  Remember…“Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]”(1 Corinthians 13:7, AMP).
2. Build trust with each other through genuine hearts; where confidentiality, compassion and honesty are nurtured. When Jonathan learned of his father’s plans to kill David, he went to David and warned him, but he also confronted his father (1 Samuel 19): “Jonathan brought up David with his father, speaking well of him. “Please,” he said to his father, “don’t attack David. He hasn’t wronged you, has he” (1 Samuel 19:4, The MSG, emphasis added)?  David trusted Jonathan with his life when he feared for it the most. And Jonathan spoke well of David, even though his father wasn’t in the mood to hear it. Our faithful friends don’t remain silent when they hear words of attack against a friend. Rather than joining the gossip club, they remain loyal and faithful, asking, “Why do you seek to destroy her? She hasn’t wronged you, has she?” Remember…“He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or gossips about a matter separates intimate friends” (Proverbs 17:9, AMP).
3. Challenge us gently yet truthfully. Though the words may bring a sting, a faithful friend doesn’t simply tell us what we want to hear, they tell us what we need to hear. After another attempt on his life, David confronted Jonathan with the facts of the situation by asking, “‘…what wrong have I inflicted on your father that makes him so determined to kill me?’ ‘Nothing,’ said Jonathan. ‘You’ve done nothing wrong. Tell me what you have in mind. I’ll do anything for you’” (1 Samuel 20, 1,2,4, The MSG). It must have been extremely difficult for Jonathan to hear the truth about his father’s secret intentions against his friend. But rather than excusing or denying his father’s behavior he listened to David, and together they came up with a plan to discover the truth; regardless of how difficult it would be to hear. Solomon wrote, “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). When a trusted friend offers counsel from a heart of love and concern and it hurts, don’t push them away. Instead, pray and ask God to help you come up with a plan to discover truth together! We may need to sift through emotion and fear as we seek to determine the truth. Allow God to sift. God desires we surround ourselves with friends who can help our faith grow and mature, not remain stagnant. A good question to ask myself is this: do I allow friends to challenge me with advice that’s hard to hear or do I get defensive when they confront an attitude, behavior or choice? Remember...“The way of the [arrogant] fool [who rejects God’s wisdom] is right in his own eyes, but a wise and prudent man is he who listens to counsel” (Proverbs 12:15, AMP).
4. Defer, not disown. We value friendships that can withstand the test of time and the seasons of life. Once David and Jonathan came up with a plan that would reveal Saul’s true intentions, they recognized they would need to part ways. Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever’” (1 Samuel 20:42, NIV). After a tearful goodbye, David and Jonathon would each begin traveling their own journey, one that would be different for each of them. At one point “Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God” (1 Samuel 23:16). When we understand friendship has been designed to endure seasons, and reasons, we can accept when our own journey brings about change. Friends that can come together after a hiatus, picking up where they left off, helping one another find strength in God, are refreshing. They are also a necessary gift. Remember...“…Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed” (Proverbs 11:25 CEB). 
5. Embrace a positive mindset with the ability to help us surrender to God’s will, regardless of the conditions around us. Every time David wondered why Saul wanted him dead, Jonathan reassured him Saul’s plan would fail, even though this meant Jonathan would not succeed his father at the throne. “Don’t be afraid. My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this” (1 Samuel 23:17, NIV). Jonathan never allowed his own fear of missing out, or losing the crown, to sway him from helping David fulfill God’s plan. When life is hard, and we become trapped within a battle, a faithful friend changes our focus from negative self-focus to faith-filled God-focus. They speak words of faith into our ears that uplift and help us overcome fear. While understanding the severity of our situation, they offer advice based on God’s Word rather than emotion. They’re the ones willing to grab a shovel and start digging when we feel trapped by “de”pits: despair, depression or destruction. Do your friends allow you to remain stuck in negativity? Or do they help lift your eyes to the God Who speaks life into you when you’re struggling to breathe? Remember...“My inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right” (Proverbs 23:16, NIV).

 
I encourage you, during the month of September, to write the name of A Beloved Companion who exemplifies each characteristic of a faithful friend.
 
Who A-Accepts your uniqueness?
Who has B-Built trust?
Who C-Challenges you to be the best you possible?
Who D-Deferred rather than disowned?
Who E-Embraces a positive mindset?
 
What about you? Remember, “Most men will proclaim each his own goodness. But who can find a faithful man (Proverbs 20:6, NKJV, emphasis added)?
 
Our friends are longing for faithful in…
 
A
Beloved
Companion