I’ve begun to notice as I slowly begin to wake from my nighttime snooze, a list begins to percolate in my mind, long before the coffee does. I came to the conclusion recently, that this list, which I always called my “goals for the day” list, needs to undergo a name change. It is now called my list of “good intentions.” Why the change? Well, I checked with Merriam-Webster and discovered that a goal is “something that you are trying to do or achieve,” (http://goo.gl/hrxWl4) whereas an intention is, “the thing that you plan to do or achieve; an aim or purpose.” (http://goo.gl/XAic6t)  Trying to do or planning to do, one implies putting forth the effort to accomplish something, while the other thinks about the actions needed to accomplish the task.  Quite honestly, lately I have only thought about the actions needed to complete my list, but have failed to put forth the effort needed to accomplish them.  Here’s what I mean.

Usually these are a few of the items on my list ….

I will fit exercise into my schedule today. Somewhere… sometime…. 
I will call my parents. 
I will connect with each of my children.
Every word spoken will be overflowing with kindness.
This is the night my family will sit down to a great dinner.
I will be a helpmate to my husband 
I will fit a little housework into my day because those bathrooms won’t just clean themselves, will they?

Unfortunately when I lay my head on my pillow at night and revisit my list, I realize I was unsuccessful in completing many, if not all, of them. I never exercised, the bathroom is still crying for a cleanup, and its been three weeks since I talked to my parents. My intentions of showering God’s unconditional love upon my family and friends, with a soft voice of compassion, has somehow evaded me more times than I’d like to admit. And now that I am a Mimi, new plans and purposes are being added to the ever-growing list. Good intentions. I am full of them. My wise hubby tells me that while not following through on our good intentions may not be a bad thing, it may not always be the right thing.

So, what keeps me from following through on my list of goals, I mean good intentions? That is what I have been lacking lately and I have been feeling a little convicted by it. It is one thing to think about the actions I must take to complete each entry on my list, but nothing will be accomplished by mere thoughts or good intentions. If I want to check items off this list, I must be willing to put forth the effort needed to do so. So, I took a few days to ponder this and here is what I have come up with. I fail to follow through because I make excuses.

Excuse #1- There’s always tomorrow. What I don’t do today, I will get to tomorrow. However, if I can’t scratch an item off the list after five days, chances are my intentions were never true goals.

Excuse #2- I am too___________________.  I could fill in the blank with words such as; busy or tired or far behind. There are days when I can honestly say that I was too busy to accomplish every task I had hoped but let’s be honest, some days I am just too easily distracted.

Excuse #3- I don’t feel like it. Plain and simple, I don’t want to put forth the effort. Does that make me lazy? One of the Antonyms for effort is laziness. Ouch.

After some time seeking the Lord for wisdom on this, I discovered that I seem to have gone from one extreme to another. In the past, my “to-do” list has been a little extreme, making it nearly impossible for me to get to every item. As a perfectionist, when I failed to complete a task, that meant, I had failed. My identity was found in my “do”- not my “who.”  I had to allow the Lord to reconstruct my identity and my purpose, and not feel guilty if I didn’t complete my agenda for the day. There was no room for interruptions, no room for anything spontaneous; I had a list to complete. Now, I am teetering on the other side… “eh, whatever happens, happens.” I need balance and motivation and I need to pray…

So, Lord, help me find balance in my day to do what YOU decide is the most important items on my list. Help me to let go of what I can’t complete, but help me to drop all excuses, that keep me from finishing what I can. Help me to be well-balanced in my day and when I make a plan, help me put forth the effort, to complete the plan. Let my good intentions meet my goals. Motivate me, Lord, to do all that You have asked me to do…and “let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24, NLT).

Our grandson, Mason, began preschool last week and after only five hours of class time, it was evident he had been listening to his teachers. After arriving home on day two, I asked him about his day and listened as he explained. There was one problem: I had a hard time understanding what he was telling me, and so I asked him again. One more time, he repeated the events of the day as I tried to follow along and ask questions that would help me better understand him. Finally, in exasperation, he simply said with a sigh, “pay attention, Mimi.” This was a new statement coming from the lips of our little three-year-old, one that took us by surprise; but he was offering his Mimi the same advice he was hearing at school, “pay attention.”

During the early years of our marriage, I found myself growing more and more frustrated by Pat’s seeming inability to hear me when I spoke to him if the television was on. Now, I have never been described as quiet, so that wasn’t the problem. The issue was how effectively he could tune me out when Sports Center was on. I could finish an entire conversation, without realizing he hadn’t heard a word, and then ask, “Well, what do you think?” Only to have him look at me with a blank face and say, “Were you talking to me?” I would get so angry I’d storm away offering some advice… “Ugh! You have the right to pay attention Pat!” Now, after more than thirty years of marriage, we have an understanding; if his eyes are directed towards the TV and anything sports related is on, I know the only way to grab his attention is to first speak his name. I don’t even start the conversation until I know he has turned his attention on me! That just saves us both any aggravation over the frustration of my feeling ignored. (Relationship lesson one: pay attention to those around you when they are speaking to you.) 

God has given us a few reasons what we should be paying attention to in regards to our relationships with others as well. In Luke 17 we are told to, “Pay attention and always be on your guard [looking out for one another]. If your brother sins (misses the mark), solemnly tell him so and reprove him, and if he repents (feels sorry for having sinned), forgive him” (vs. 3, AMP). How many “gut feelings” have we ignored because we didn’t want to offend a friend, or we felt it wasn’t any of our business, only to discover there was sin lurking in the shadow? I have had to swallow my pride many times as I’ve listened to someone explain how I had “missed the mark.” When the reproof came from a friend who was full of compassion and love, without condemnation, I was able to receive the correction. We must be willing to listen and if it bears witness, accept it as from the Lord. Likewise, if the Lord puts us on guard towards another, and sends us to them to solemnly speak to them, go in humility and love, full of compassion. Let’s be honest, we all miss the mark at times, that’s why it is important that we value the people God has placed in our lives that can help bring us back. Having a friend show up at just the right time cannot only be encouraging, but also life saving. (Relationship lesson two: pay attention to the "gut feelings" God gives you.)

In 2 Corinthians Paul writes, “For even when we arrived in Macedonia, our bodies had no ease or rest, but we were oppressed in every way and afflicted at every turn—fighting and contentions without, dread and fears within [us]. But God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed and the sinking, comforted and encouraged and refreshed and cheered us by the arrival of Titus” (vs. 5-6, AMP). Paul and his crew were beaten down with conflicts. They had troubles on the outside and were full of fear on the inside and God knew it. He recognized they were becoming defeated and depressed and needed to be lifted and encouraged, so He sent them Titus. If we are paying attention to our family and friends, and follow the Lord’s leading, He just may send us to bring someone comfort and the encouragement they need. He may use us to refresh and cheer the depressed and sinking. (Relationship lesson three: pay attention to the body language of your friends. Notice when they appear beaten down.)

Maybe this week you will be someone’s Titus. Or maybe you just might rescue a friend who may be missing the mark; only the Lord knows what He’s got planned. Whatever it might be, it is up to us to pay attention.

There are a few things that should come in groups of three, The Three Blind Mice, The Three Stooges, Three Wise Men and a three-bean salad. There’s the Three Musketeers and Three Peas in a Pod and there is also the little saying that “things break, or die, in threes.” 

While we don’t believe in superstition, Pat and I have recognized there is truth to that statement in our home. With the death of one appliance, it seems there are two more following close behind. That describes the last couple of months around here. We’ve had one item after another break and then last week my Jeep took a turn for the worse. I was running a few errands when I began to notice strange behavior from the Jeep. I decided it might be best for me to forgo my agenda and head straight home. I was afraid I might not get her running again if I stopped, but a desperate need for a restroom made my decision for me. I decided to stop at a Dunkin Donuts along the way and call Pat for help. He would be driving through on his way from work, so I would simply wait for him to check things out before risking the drive home. 

As I waited, I prayed…well, I kind of prayed and kind of grumbled. These were some of the “prayers” that went through my mind…I can’t believe this! One more thing to add to our broken items list. How are we ever going to afford this? Why is this happening to us? Why now? What are we going to do? This is not a good time, Lord! We can’t replace the Jeep right now! Then I began to travel down the road leading me to question, “did God really say?” “Am I really where the Lord wants me?” As I grumbled to the Lord about the financial burden this was going to put upon us, Pat called me with his ETA… another 30 minutes. As I talked to him I decided I could use another potty break, so I hopped out of the jeep, but missed the landing and instead hit the edge of the blacktop, which caused me to face plant on the pavement. My phone flew from my hand; items from my purse spilled out, my toe, left leg and hand all suffered a beating from the fall. I was frustrated, embarrassed (yes, there were people all around me), and quite honestly, just downright mad. Now, along with the broken items in our house, a jeep that isn’t running right, I too, am feeling bruised, sore and exasperated. It was a long week.

I needed the Lord to give my attitude a little “tweak” and He did that for me on Saturday when He opened my eyes to this verse from John 6.  “Jesus looked up then, and seeing that a vast multitude was coming toward Him, He said to Philip, Where are we to buy bread, so that all these people may eat? But He said this to prove (test) him, for He well knew what He was about to do” Phillip answered Him, Two hundred pennies’ (forty dollars) worth of bread is not enough that everyone may receive even a little” (John 6:5-7, AMP).

Jesus asked Phillip a question that began with the phrase, “Where are we to” even though He already knew the answer. He knew there was a boy with two fish and five loaves of bread and He knew no one would go hungry that day. Yet, He stilled asked the question, “Where are we to buy bread for these people?” Phillip’s answer was probably similar to what mine might been. With a blank stare, I can hear my reply, “We don’t have the money or the supply to take care of them.” I may have looked at Jesus, in shock, wondering why He would even suggest it was our job to feed them. Why didn’t they pack a lunch? But He asked the “where” question, even when He knew the “how” answer, because He was testing Phillip’s response. After every miracle Phillip had seen, maybe Jesus was waiting for him to say, “I am not sure what You have up Your miracle sleeve on this one, Lord, but now would be a great time to reveal it.” Could that be the answer He is seeking from me, as well?

The Lord began to show me that while Jesus asks the “where are we to ” question, Satan asks the “did God really say?” question. That’s what he did to Eve in Genesis 3 when he cast doubt and made her believe God was holding out. When I allow, “did God really say?” to roll around in my mind, doubt increases, which leads to anxiety and fear.  I become unable to trust if I heard God right, or if I am able to believe God is faithful to His promises. I have far too many memories of past experiences when God has met our needs to become fearful that He suddenly doesn’t know how He is going to meet new ones. 

When we look out and see the masses of need and our circumstances begin to overwhelm us, no matter how big they may appear, we must remember that Jesus already has the answer. Rather than allow ourselves to question, “did God really say?” we need to turn our ears and listen for Jesus as He asks, “where are we going to” then simply reply, “That is a very good question, Lord, and I am glad You asked because I know You already have it figured out. Now, can You fill me in on the “how” please?  Satan wants us to believe God is unable, but the truth is He is more than able. 

Oh, one more group of three… The Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Three working together as One, helping us overcome no matter what three things may be thrown our way. 

I picked up a copy of Prevention Magazine and skimmed over the announcements plastered on the cover. “Walk off Belly Fat,” “Lower Your Blood Pressure Naturally” (which I should read), “Feel Great After 50” (guess I should read that one, too), and finally my eyes feel on this little nugget in the bottom corner, “Feel the Love! 8 Ways to Get Even Closer.” It only took a few seconds before I sensed the Lord whispering, “What are eight ways you can feel My love and draw us closer?”  I began to contemplate this thought and this is what I came up with.

1)   Repent. “Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38, NLT). Repentance can be defined as a change of ways. When you repent, you decide that you are no longer going to live life your way, you are going to live your life God’s way. Matthew 3:8 from the New Living Translation says it best, “Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God.”

2)    Confess. Psalm 66:18 shows us that un-confessed sin separates me from God. But, First John 1:9 assures us that when we “confess our sins to him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness” (NLT).  “O Lord, You are so good, so ready to forgive,
 so full of unfailing love for all who ask for Your help” (Psalms 86:5, NLT).

3)    Pray. God wants to hear from us. He designed us to be in fellowship with Him and desires communication. First Thessalonians 5:17 instructs us to, “never stop praying (NLT). “May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all” (2 Corinthians 13:14, NLT). Stay in fellowship with Him through a devoted prayer life.

4)    Listen. While talking to Him is very important, God doesn’t want us to do all the talking. He wants us to listen for His voice. “Whenever Moses went into the Tabernacle to speak with the Lord, he heard the voice speaking to him from between the two cherubim above the Ark’s cover—the place of atonement—that rests on the Ark of the Covenant. The Lord spoke to him from there” Numbers 7:89, NLT).  Now, the Lord speaks to us through His Word and through the Holy Spirit, Who lives within us.  We should grow in our discernment to know and recognize His voice.

5)    Abide. Some synonyms for abide are, stay, dwell, hang around, remain and tarry.  Be determined to remain steadfast with Him, regardless of life’s disappointments. Life can seem brutal at times, but don’t push God away during the hard times, rather, draw close. “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me” John 15:4, NKJV).

6)   Believe.  Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” When we believe, we “accept something as true, genuine or real (http://goo.gl/DCgGMj. Belief brings trust. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take” (Proverbs 3:5-6, NLT).

7)   Serve. “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul” (Deuteronomy 10:12, NKJV). God wants to be #1 in your life, above all else. He will not share His glory (Isaiah 48:11). Throughout the Old Testament, the Israelites lived victoriously when they served the One True God, but were defeated when they poured their worship out to idols. Serve Him only.

8)   Obey. “But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams”(1 Samuel 15:22). God loves our obedience to Him and He knows if our acts of worship are from a heart that desires to obey Him, or if they are simply lip service. We find blessing in our obedience and our obedience should flow from a heart of love. “If you love Me, you will obey Me” (John 14:15).

There is my list of eight ways to feel God’s love and for me to draw closer to Him. Your list of eight might be a little different than mine but He does promise that if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us (James 4:8).  What would you add to your list? I think Prevention magazine might be on to something!. If I am faithful to repent, confess, pray, listen, abide, believe, serve and obey I will feel the Lord and closeness of the Lord, no doubt about it.