At this moment in time, I find myself closely watching the marriages of two couples. They have been married for about the same length of time and both are on shaky ground.  One couple has decided it is best to walk away from each other, and their marriage, while the other couple decided it was worth the fight to save theirs.  As I have watched these two marriages go through their difficulties, it has forced me to consider the effect our individual choices bring to a marriage. The choices we make, each and every day, can make a marriage, or break one.  More than that, it has caused me to dig deep and consider God’s role within the marriage. I’ve watched these two couples walk through some pretty rough stuff.  One choosing to allow God access to their lives, while the other chose to remain distant from Him, and the difference has been remarkable.

This is what I have learned over the last year from watching The Tale of Two Marriages:

• When God is asked to be present within the hearts of people, as broken and messed up as we can be, He changes them. (Ezekiel 36:26)

• When God is permitted to be active within the marriages of His children, He blesses them. After all, He created it. (Genesis 2:18-25)

• When God is honored within the home of those who love Him and are surrendered to Him, He restores what the enemy tries to steal from them. (Joel 2: 25)

When any of these three are lacking, God is not within the hearts, He is not permitted to intervene and He is not honored by surrender, the road to healing and restoration will be difficult, if not impossible. 

With these marriages, both couples experienced the betrayal of a spouse. There were lies and secrets, addictions and broken trust. While betrayal causes tremendous pain and damage to any marriage, the steps taken next will determine if repair can be found. For one couple, this involved confession, repentance and turning to Christian counseling for help. It is only a matter of time before the secrets we hide behind begin to unravel in our lives, especially, if we have given our lives to Christ, because God will not be mocked (Galatians 6:7). He is in the business of “…uncovering deep things out of darkness, 
and bringing the shadow of death to light” (Job 12:22).  When He begins to stir conviction within our hearts we can choose to lock up the secret, or let Him uncover it and follow His leading down the path of healing. Confession leads to cleansing; “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). 

God has also begun the process of changing the heart of the wounded spouse in this marriage as well. Through tears of anger, God was asked to help heal the pain and sorrow, and helped them offer forgiveness to the betrayer. He has.  The Lord began to reveal the truth of what it means to forgive, as Christ has forgiven, to the one betrayed. Just reading The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18: 21-35 can help anyone understand that it is God’s will that we offer the same forgiveness offered to us. It hasn’t been an easy journey and there have been setbacks along the way, however, God has been permitted total access to the marriage and their hearts. They desire His blessing within their marriage, so they surrendered control of their marriage. Grace was extended, forgiveness offered and healing has begun.

The enemy is out to steal, kill and destroy anything that God has created and God created marriage.  “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him”(Genesis 2:18). Hebrews 13:4 reminds us that marriage is honorable and pure. When we fail to recognize the Devil’s tactics of seduction, we quickly can become trapped by his schemes, such as pride. Be careful that you never allow pride to prevent communication within your marriage. Proverbs 18:12 is a good rule to follow; “The heart of a man is proud before he is destroyed, but having no pride goes before honor” (NLV). 

While one couple heads to the courts for the dissolution of their marriage, the other “Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise” (Psalm 100:4). Praise and thanksgiving for all that He has done and the work He will complete, as they submit to one another, and the Lord. 

 

The other night, while Pat and I were down in our finished basement watching a movie, I thought I saw movement up in the ceiling light panel above my head. Sure enough, my eyes looked up just in time to catch a glimpse of the backend of a mouse meandering across the panel. Yesterday,  I pulled a bag from a closet to discover more evidence that mice had moved in.  We have had a problem with mice in this house since the day we bought it. For a time, we had the victory however, because we have two cats. They used to be good mouse hunter, however lately? Not so much. They seem to have forgotten the reason they live here, and that is to catch the critters. We have put our faith in the fact that cats catch mice, cats kill mice, and cats protect our home from mice. We have expectations that they are not living up to. So, once we realized the mice were taking over, we went to work. Pat set the traps and very shortly, mouse number one was carried out. Within 12 hours two, three and four followed. Through it all, the cats are sleeping comfortably in the living room chairs.
    
As I was thinking about those cats this morning, I began to think about mice and God. I know, a little strange but true,  allow me to explain what the Lord began to show me. The cats have a place in our home,  just like the Bible has a place in our home.  We have always believed that our cats were going to work for us. We believed they were going to protect our home from mice and other little critters. In the same way, we believe God is going to work for on our behalf too. We believe that God is going to protect us from the “nasty critters” of life, such as hurt, sorrow, disappointment, failures, etc. But, here is the deal; we have mice. Somehow, they are sneaking in, right past those cats, while they are lounging in their cozy chairs, sleeping the day away. And even with a Bible placed upon our shelf, we are forced to face circumstances that are painful. At times, we are hurt, lonely, depressed and feel defeated. We need to face loss and suffering, pain and sorrow. Somehow, those pests are sneaking right past the Word and causing trouble for us. Now, it is clear, we have a choice to make.

Without taking any action ourselves, we could “wish” the cats would do their job, catch the mice and keep them from coming back. Or Pat and I could spring into action.  (Ok, truth is, Pat would be the one taking action, as it is rather disgusting to me, but on we go with the story.) So, we decided we needed to stop the infestation before the mice began their victory dance. It was time for the traps to be set. I see a similarity with how God has worked in my life. There have been times when I have “wished” my situation would change by the simple hand of a miraculous God. And there have been times when He has worked on my behalf, with very little effort of my own. But, the reality is, wishing doesn't change anything, usually I must do my part.  I have needed to be willing to set the traps and go to battle for my victory. I have had to change my pattern of speech, my beliefs, or my behavior and thought process in order to change my circumstance.  

Often, I had expectations of God based upon a few stories I had learned in Sunday school and my own desire to see Him as I wanted.  Not as how He actually is, but, as I determined Him to be. I was desperate for my prayers to be answered, but came up discouraged over and over again. That is, until I began to understand God’s ways. I had to take my Bible off the shelf and begin to read for understanding. I had to be faithful to sit under Pastor’s and teachers who taught the Word in truth and give myself to learning about Him. Proverbs 19:8 says; “He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; 
He who keeps understanding will find good” (NKJV).

Unlike our cats, which obviously don’t care one bit about the mice we took out, God does care. He wants us to have victory and He has provided us with everything we need for that to happen. Take the Bible down, begin to seek Him with all your heart and then, do your part. Set the traps and stop the infestation before you are taken out by those critters.

“For he has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy. He has not turned his back on them, but has listened to their cries for help” (Psalm 22:24, NLT).


oh, and in case you are wondering, here are the two lazy cats, Ash and Sweets, enjoying their naps. And just so you know, Sweets climbed over a mouse trap to make her bed in the closet. ;)