Kolleen Lucariello#TheABCGirl
Author. Writer. Speaker.
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Exposed

1/27/2014

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On January 1st, I began reading through the Gospels of Matthew and John, after sensing a need to reacquaint myself with Jesus. I do Bible reading every day, but it has been sometime since I have read the Gospels. What a blast it has been to spend my mornings reading about His miracles and His mission here.  As I read through each chapter, I’ve been reintroduced to many of the people He met along His journey. Real people. People just like you and just like me. Each with a name we will never know but with a story that had to be shared.

In John 4, we are introduced to a Samaritan woman who has been married five times and is now with another man. We also meet a “certain nobleman whose son is sick”, which is why he begs Jesus to come with him. Move into chapter five and we learn about the pool, by the Sheep Gate, where a “great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting for the moving of the water” came (vs.3).  One “sick man” lay there for 38 years with his infirmity.  Throughout the Gospels we meet those who were suffering; in fact, in many cases, that is all we know about them. We never get to know their names, only their sickness. They are described to us by what is wrong with them-whether it be a sickness or a sin. Those who were demon-possessed, a man born blind, a woman with an issue of blood, and a leper who came and worshipped Him saying, “Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.” Then Jesus put out His hand and touched him, saying, “I am willing; be cleansed.” Immediately his leprosy was cleansed” (Matthew 8:2-3).

As I pore over these two books, I can see so clearly how I often allow what is wrong with me to become what defines me.  Would you say that might be true for any one of us? Rather than recognizing our positive qualities, our gifts and talents, all we may do right, we focus on what we see as the lesser-the mistakes and the failures. Always pointing out the negatives, rather than any positives.  There was a time when I sang and the only parts of the song I remembered were the mistakes I made. When I sang off key, or my voice may have cracked, if someone came to me and made a remark of how nice it sounded, I refused to believe it. I knew better; I heard the mistakes. A husband may give his wife a compliment that she simply can’t accept, because she believes it is spoken to be nice, rather than because this is how he truly feels.  A kind word of encouragement and it is shrugged off because of the unkind remarks we’ve heard before.  

One story that always moves me when I read through it is found in John chapter eight. This is where we come face to face with a woman who was “caught in adultery, in the very act” (vs. 4, emphasis mine).  I had never thought of it before, but this time I wondered, do you suppose they allowed her to dress before they dragged her into the streets, in front of the crowd that had gathered to hear Jesus teach. The teachers and the Pharisees were trying to find something to use against Him, so I wonder now, would they have been concerned at all for her dignity? Imagine, not only would she have stood with her “indiscretion” exposed before everyone, but was she standing there, in the center of this crowd, before Jesus, unclothed as well? Stripped completely bare? Is that why Jesus knelt and began to write with His finger in the sand, to take His eyes off of her nakedness? To help her in her time of shame?

Have you ever stood before someone full of shame and embarrassment? Is it possible for each of us to scan through our lives and discover shameful, embarrassing moments that we would love to forget. I’ve decided that a “do-over” button would be a lovely device to have in my possession. It would be a wonderful tool for those not so wonderful moments in my life. Yet, reading this also caused me to question myself and ask; how many times have I behaved like a Pharisee, willing to expose someone’s shame while trying to cover up my own? There have been times when I have had to stand before someone, admit my guilt, being shameful of my actions, and offer an apology.  However, I can’t deny the times I have been quick to expose another’s failure, while refusing to see my own. I recognize now how unkind words towards others have caused the truth to be revealed of my impure heart, which I never wanted exposed. I know all too well the shame and embarrassment of my past that I would never want exposed, so why would I expose another’s?  Yes, I have held the stone and I have felt the stone.

But you know what? For every person who came to Him, in faith, He was willing to forgive, heal and restore. While the woman caught in adultery “sat in the midst” of the crowd, waiting to be stoned for her sin, Jesus took the attention off of her and pointed out that anyone without sin should be the first one to throw the stone. No one could and when they finally “had left her, convicted by their conscience, Jesus was left alone with her”.  Alone… with Jesus. And then He spoke…

“When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, ‘Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said to her, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.’” John 8:10-11

How I love the heart of Jesus. No lectures, no demands, no condemnation, just the words that would bring the freedom we all long for. “Go and sin no more”… live free from the sin and shame that so often defines us.

Sometimes we fail to get to know people by their name and instead we know them by their mistakes and failures. Too quickly we drag them out into the crowd, pick up our stones and strip away any of their privacy. Leaving them to stand alone, nameless, yet exposed. No, I don’t know, for sure, if the Scribes and Pharisees brought the woman to stand before the crowd completely naked, but I have a feeling they might have. After all, why would they care? They had a point to prove. One thing I do know is that I do stand before Him naked and bare. He knows everything there is to know about me. He knows my hopes and dreams, my fears, my insecurities and every other detail there is to know. He has seen every mistake and failure. He also knows the sin “which so easily ensnares me” (Hebrews 12:1). He knows every part of me. “All my desire is before You;
 And my sighing is not hidden from You” (Psalm 38:9). I can’t run from Him, I can’t hide from His presence, Psalm 139 confirms that. I can only stand before Him, like the woman caught, like the sick and lame, or like the leper and cry out to Him, “Lord if you are willing….

Cleanse me.

Cover me.

Heal me.

Restore me.

Renew me.

Fulfill me.

Forgive me.

Defend me.

Define me.

Alone with Jesus, totally exposed, I will stand and listen for His reply… “I am willing.”


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The Lessons of Life

1/4/2014

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Well, here I am, sitting at the computer, thankful for a Saturday morning of quiet and rest. It is a nice time for me to reflect on the last six days and recharge for the week that lies ahead.  I am praying today that this week, the one before me, is a little smoother than the one I just left behind.  Although, no matter how difficult my day may be, I am always amazed at the Lord’s ability to bring a lesson out of life.
    
My week started off nice and smoothly on Monday and I was excited to see my little friends again, after the Thanksgiving break. It became a little chaotic, however, when it became time to leave to take Ian to preschool. We got our coats and boots on and as I reached for the keys to the Jeep, I discovered they were not hanging on the hook designated for them.  This presented a problem for me, because we only have one key for the Jeep. (Having a spare key made was one of those we must get to it, someday projects. Well, today was the day I had wished we had gotten to it.) Not only did Ian need to get to preschool, I also had an appointment to get to after I dropped him off.    

As I tried hard to remember where the key could possibly be, I quickly began to replay the day before in my mind. We had driven the Jeep to pick up our Christmas tree, this much I remembered. But where the keys went after that, I just couldn’t figure out. I made a quick search through coat pockets and my purse, and I prayed. I checked the garage and I made a phone call to Pat. While I wasn’t sure where they were right now, the one thing I was sure of was that Pat had driven the Jeep last, so therefore he must have been the one who had misplaced them. I tried very hard to not allow my irritation get the best of me and I also didn’t want to sound accusatory, so I just pretended to be calm and in control. Yes, pretended. “Honey…do you know where the keys are to the Jeep? Do you remember where we might have put them when we came home yesterday?” Yes, I said we, as if I might have had a part to play in their disappearance, when in reality, I knew I hadn’t. Pat tried to think and gave me ideas of where to look. I finally gave up, called my sweet neighbor, who let me use her car to run Ian to school, go to my appointment and pick up Cadence from preschool. When I dropped it off to her, she said, “I saw you walk across the yard wearing your sports coat.” I had quickly searched the coats we had worn the day before and didn’t find them, but I felt as though her statement was direction from the Lord to search again. So, I came home and searched again, only this time I flipped the coat upside down and shook it. Out dropped the key to the Jeep from the coat I was sure did not have the key. My coat. Whoops. How did that key get in my coat? Oh yes, I remember Pat handing the keys to me when we got home. Silly Kolleen. So sure she wasn’t the one who misplaced them, so sure it was Pat’s fault, so sure she wasn’t to blame.

Then there was Tuesday. My Tuesdays start with my friend, Andrew, arriving in the wee hours of the morning, to get some sleep on the couch, eat breakfast and then hop on the bus. Ian and Andrew are sitting at the kitchen table, eating waffles, and discussing Christmas decorations. Then Ian asked me when I was going to put out my snow globes. I began explaining to him that I wasn’t sure if I should put them out now that Mason is here. “You know how two year olds are; they touch everything and usually break what they touch.” I just wasn’t sure if I was willing to risk it. As I was sharing my concern over Mason breaking them, I unwrapped one, it slipped and hit the table and shattered, I mean shattered all over. Water, glass and sparkles went everywhere! It went down the front of me and also made its way onto Ian’s lap. He was covered with snow globe water and sparkles, it was all over the floor, and I now not only was I staring at this huge mess I also had 10 minutes to get Andrew out the door for the bus. Cadence was walking in the door, Mason was raring to go, Ian sat baffled and I stood in disbelief wondering what had just happened. Oh I remember now…I was talking about how I might need to protect my things from the damage someone else might bring to them, forgetting that I just might be the one to cause the damage.  Lesson learned.

I don’t know why I find it so easy to blame others for whatever irritation I am feeling or frustrating situation I am in, rather than look within myself first. I know there are some who seem to take the blame for everything…but..that is not me. I blame others first, then need to be humbled by the truth that there are times when I have no one to blame but myself. Both need to ask the Lord for balance… and truth. Some need to let go of pride and pick up that sweet humble spirit that says it is ok to be wrong, while others need to let themselves off the hook of always believing they are the one to blame. Life is going to be difficult and situations will not always go smoothly or according to my plans. Learning to behave wisely when I am pressed and not blame others is an area I need to work out in my life. I can certainly see that now.

We can look at the trials and tribulations of this life in different ways. We can either become so angry at them that we become bitter and hard-hearted. We can become down on life and believe that all the bad in our life is because of someone else, or we can ask God to show us what He wants us to learn, about ourselves, from the lessons of life. I can see that I blame others too much and need to ask for help, rather than lay blame when I find myself in a bind. I also learned that while I might fear, or believe, that others will cause the damage of my things, or possibly my heart, it just might be that I am the one doing the damage. If we allow ourselves to become bitter and hard because of every heartache, disappointment or every awful thing that has ever happened to us then we just might miss out on some good godly instruction. We also may miss out on the blessing of good friendship, too. We drive people away when we put up walls, trying to protect ourselves. Life may knock us down, but it doesn’t need to destroy us and we don’t need to allow our reaction to life’s troubles destroy others either.

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, NLT).


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    "...Exhort one another daily, while it is called 'Today,' 
    lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin
    " (Hebrews 3:13, NKJV).

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