I’m noticing a new trend within the first few days of May—social media conversations have become a firestorm of controversy over Mother’s Day. While I’ve always enjoyed gleaning advice from articles on celebrating motherhood, honoring mom or ways to encourage someone who has been like a mother to us – not everyone does.

It seems as Mother’s Day approaches a great emotional surge awakens the desire for celebrations to cease and acknowledgments to be done away with. Pastors are being encouraged to rethink having mothers stand to be recognized; some even suggesting churches stop handing out small gifts to mothers completely. Recently, I read a comment on a Mother’s Day post, expressing a desire for the day to be done away with altogether. A woman accused another of being insensitive after she expressed her opinion that honoring mom’s should continue. And the “insensitive” one was writing from a heart wounded by abortion and infertility. Ouch.

Ladies, I can’t take it anymore. This hurts my heart for so many reasons. And if it hurts mine, I can’t imagine how it must hurt our heavenly Father’s heart.  Now, before you react and call me insensitive, let me finish please.

I understand the pain, for some, is from the longing to become a mom and infertility has robbed you from the experience. I don’t know the struggle personally, but I have walked beside some who do. I’ve wept and prayed long and hard for those I’ve known yearning to experience the miracle of creating a child within their womb – but wombs remain empty. And within these relationships, I’ve known women who allowed bitterness to replace what the womb couldn’t hold, and I’ve known others who—although crushed beneath the weight of desire—fought like crazy to remain free of that trap. They’ve congratulated and embraced others with pregnancy news even while longing to be the next one to share it.

Mother’s Day is also hard for those who have had their moms leave this earth and the day brings one more reminder of how much they miss her. We miss Pat's mom each Mother's Day and this year will be the first Mother's Day my niece and nephew spend without my sister. Loss is hard. 

Broken relationships also make the day more than difficult and there are plenty who struggle with Mother’s Day due to the memories of an abusive mom. The day can easily cause the pain to intensify. Not growing up with an abusive mother doesn’t make it difficult to hurt for those who did. I’ve only heard portions of my friend Brynn’s story, but it hurts to listen as she shares bits and pieces of her past with me. Brynn suffered terrible abuse at the hands of her mother. I asked her to share her perspective on Mother’s Day…

Mother’s Day can be tough when you have a difficult mother. There are those who cannot have a relationship with their mom because of abuse. There was so much abuse in my home because of my mother, I didn’t know how to deal with it and kept it to myself.
Amazingly, I learned about God through an after-school program and accepted Christ when I was twelve years old. That’s how I survived my teen years. I cried as I read and marked up my Bible, and God was the only one I could talk to about my sadness. My mother continued to manipulate and control me after I became an adult. I went to Bible College with the hope of becoming a missionary. But I couldn’t return after my third year because I became suicidal and had difficulty concentrating. Instead, I married, started a family, and worked a full-time job. But, ten years later I became suicidal again and then again ten years after that.
When I turned fifty I no longer continued the trend of becoming suicidal; I finally got help from a licensed professional counselor and it took many years to work through my trauma. Through counseling, I learned that my relationship with my mother was detrimental to my well-being. My counselor taught me to care for myself – something I had never learned. It wasn’t easy, but I made the decision to remove myself from my mother’s control.
When I started to get better, I let her back in. But when I saw that my health was being hurt again, I had to remove her from my life again. My mother continues to try to guilt me into letting her back into my life. She stalks my siblings and me on the Internet and manipulates others into trying to reach us. She pays out tens of thousands of dollars to try to accomplish her desires, but because I’m a healed counselee, it no longer affects me like it did.
I spent many years protecting my mother. Her ability to use me strengthened her. She gets weak when she doesn’t have someone to control, so she finds people to buy who don’t realize the price they must pay for agreeing to be bought. When I share my story, people often assume I need to forgive my mother. But what people often misunderstand is that forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things. Reconciliation requires action by both the offender and the abused. Since my mother has not made steps toward reconciliation, there’s nothing I can do to mend the relationship. I no longer feel guilty even when she throws barbs at me –which happens at least a couple times a year. She is responsible for her actions and I’m responsible for mine.
So I choose to pray for her well-being and her soul. Now, on Mother’s Day, I enjoy the legacy I was able to begin with my own children – by the grace of God. I love my children and they love me. It doesn’t get better than that!” – Brynn

Which do you relate to? Are you aching because of infertility?  Grieving because of loss? Haunted by the pain of abuse? Whatever upsets you on this day, let me say, I'm sorry the day is hard for you. Truly, I am. But here's what I need to ask, does not acknowledging the day for some prevent the pain for others? When we turn our focus inward and only see what was lost—or what we desire but don't have—bitterness consumes hearts quickly. Bitter hearts promptly become jealous ones and when that happens it becomes impossible for anyone to stand before us without envy (Proverbs 27:4).

This is when we begin to believe if it's too painful for me - no one should enjoy it. King Solomon once found himself in the middle of a dispute between two women; each claiming to be the mother of one infant after death claimed the life of another. When his solution was to cut the baby in half, the birth mother begged him to give the baby to the other woman. But the other woman said, “He shall be neither mine nor yours; cut him” (1 Kings 3:26). Have we become so jaded by loss and disappointment that we feel this way about Mother’s Day? If I can’t celebrate the day – I don’t want anyone to. We’ve forgotten how to “rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief] (Romans 1215, AMP). Instead, we’ve become a body of Believers who are unable to celebrate with others when our own life is hard or disappointing.

If your womb is empty, could there be the hope of motherhood through adoption, foster parenting or mentoring? Yes, I understand it's not the same as giving birth but there are many children in need of a mom, right? I’m asking the Lord to fill your heart with desire for His will – whatever that looks like.

If you have only the memory of a great mom – remember her this Mother’s Day. Shed tears for how you miss her but don’t begrudge the day every year because she can’t be with you. Honor her memory. Has someone stepped in as a mother figure when your birth mother was no longer there? Give thanks for her. Maybe you could find a mom who will spend the day alone and adopt her for the day. Celebrate someone's mom on this day – if not your own.

If you’re one haunted by abuse at the hands of your mother, I am asking the Lord right now to heal you from those wounds. I hope you can take the steps Brynn took to find healing. She is one of the most joyous ladies I know. Was a friend’s mother there for you during your hard years? Can you honor her? What about honoring our Spiritual mothers? Is there someone you can honor for pouring into your life spiritually?  

One of God's top ten is to "Honor your mother and father" (Exodus 20:12) and when we are able to offer a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving, even when it hurts, we are also honoring God (Psalm 50:23).

If your heart aches when Mother's Day draws near – I am asking the Lord to soothe the pain. Maybe you're a mom walking beside someone who desires to be one – love on her this Mother's Day. Hug her tight.  And if the Pastor asks mothers to stand in church please clap and honor them without resenting him for doing so. This is a true sacrifice of praise.

Honor Him as you honor a mother.  
#BeYou
​S-Sacrificial 

I’ve spent a fair amount of time lately thinking about how much of life happens little by little. I’ve had time. Like many, I succumbed to illness and the last week of recovery has felt slow. In fact, a bit too slow for my liking as healing comes little by little every day.
 
I was struck by the words, little by little, a few weeks ago after reading God’s disclosure to the Israelites on how they would obtain the land He had promised them from their enemies. He informed them He would not drive their enemies out in a single year. Instead, they would be driven out little by little until the Israelites had increased and were strong enough to take possession of the land. (Exodus 23:29-30, emphasis mine).
 
Unfortunately, I actually don’t often have the patience for the little by little. If something needs to be driven out – I’d prefer it be done immediately. Not little by little. I get tired of fighting the thing. If change is going to happen, let’s change it - now! In our younger, less-than-wise years, Pat and I blew a few budgets rather than following the little-by-little route. Go big or go home, right? That’s always been my motto.
 
Well, not always – at least not anymore. After a few failed budgets and the consequences that come from overspending, we’ve decided little by little is more than enough for us. I no longer strive in my own strength to drive the thing out and make change happen in my time. Oh, don’t get me wrong – I’d still like it to. Like a good student, I’ve learned nothing lasts if the Lord’s not in it. So now I wait. Not always very patiently, but I have learned to wait. I know He has His reasons. He has them for me just like He did for the Israelites. And He has a promise for me just like He had one planned for them. But why does He make us wait? Why? Especially when we know what we want? 
 
One of the reasons He allowed the Israelites to possess the land little by little was because He understood the importance of their need to “increase and be strong enough to take possession of the land”(vs. 23). It doesn’t do any of us any good to possess something we aren’t strong enough to handle, does it? We must fight to overcome the lie that makes us assume we are capable of supporting something He says we are not yet ready for. Impatience can be blinding.     
 
He told them, “I will not drive them out from before you in one year, lest the land become desolate and the beasts of the field become too numerous for you” (vs.29, AMP). He knew what would happen to the land if He drove the enemies out all at once – they wouldn’t be able to maintain it properly. I’ve seen the same outcome in my own life when I’ve felt I was strong enough to take possession of that which I believed I was ready for but I couldn’t maintain it properly and it fell apart in my care. Impatience can be deceiving.  
 
Though the Israelites may have assumed they were ready to possess the land God had promised quickly and with little or no effort, He knew that even in obtaining the land – little by little – they were going to have to fight for it. While it is true that every good and perfect gift is from above, effort leads to appreciation (James 1:17). Impatience can lead to ingratitude.
 
Unfortunately, when that which you long for progresses little by little, the fight often gives way to discouragement and the belief it will never happen. And the temptation to give up becomes greater than the patience to wait it out. But, some things are worth fighting for. Some situations take hard work to conquer but you’re only going to conquer them in Israelites fashion – little by little.
 
Every relationship has little by little opportunities when...
 
little by little family relationships are shattered
little by little friendships deteriorate
little by little marriages weaken
 
Everyone has little by little moments when…
 
little by little finances shrink
little by little weight is gained
little by little habits change
little by little health declines
 
Every day has little by little moments when…
 
little by little irritations begin to change your mood.
little by little failure begins to swallow your confidence
little by little emotions are stuffed until you erupt like a volcano
little by little you allow negative remarks to remake you into someone unrecognizable
 
Yet when you don’t pay attention to the deception of the little by little, the possibilities become endless of what you can possess when you work it out according to God’s plan of action. You’re likely to watch as…
 
little by little family relationships are strengthened
little by little friendships deepen
little by little marriages rebound
little by little finances enlarge
little by little weight is lost
little by little habits change for the better
little by little health improves
little by little irritations are no longer allowed to control your mood
little by little failure builds confidence as you wait for God’s best
little by little emotions are dealt with through healthy communication
little by little you no longer allow the opinions of others to define you
 
God had stipulations the Israelites would need to meet before they would possess the land and it would take them much longer than a year to do so – so don’t grow weary in doing good (Galatians 6:9). Just like they’d need to wait until He knew they were strong enough to handle the responsibility, so will we. Change rarely happens overnight, right? What we really need to decide is whether or not we are willing to surrender to His standard and timetable to obtain that which we are waiting to possess. If so, keep building your strength and endurance. Then watch as, little by little, God works in you to change your identity – one letter at a time – into someone who chooses to trust Him to bring you into the promised land at just the right time. 
 
#BeYou
H-Hopeful in the little by little
 
 
 
 

Do you begin a New Year with a word for your year? In 2010 our church family was encouraged by our Pastor at a New Year’s Eve service to seek the Lord in prayer for the one word He had for you, personally, for the New Year. After many days of waiting, I felt the word release settle in my heart. I wasn’t sure exactly how He would apply it to my life but I had a sense it would be year of release for me. It was, in many ways.
 
Last year was the year to be steadfast—firm in belief and determination—which took supernatural strength when I discovered my book would go out of print, the ministry I was involved with would close its doors, and my little sister would pass away. Grief took over for a very unexpected, sorrow-filled season but steadfast in my firm belief of God’s goodness I stood in a difficult season of stillness. 

When I felt the word revision drop into my heart for this year, I became excited, considering my prayers were for a revision of The ABC Book. However, my excitement was short-lived when I began to sense He wasn’t talking about the book. While that may be part of it, I had a suspicion the Lord was more interested in revising…me. Uh oh. Here we go again. One set of revisions on Kolleen lasted about two years and I spent a majority of that time reduced to a puddle of tears as He pinpointed deep areas in need of change.
 
It’s easy to recognize your need for change when you simply can’t imagine one more day of the old. But what happens when you’ve become comfortable? (Which I am.) When life is likeable? (Which it is.) Since revision is defined as “a change or a set of changes that corrects or improves something: a new version of something” my hope was the revision wouldn’t be quite as tearful as in the past. Perhaps just a little adjustment to my attitude – I could understand that – so I hit the prayer road running. Show me what you’ve got for me, Lord! Let the revision begin!
 
He agreed and I found myself revisiting the story Luke shared about the woman who became so desperate for a revision in her life she broke all of the customary laws for her moment with Jesus. We are never introduced to her by name but different translations reveal who she was in the community: a bad woman, especially wicked sinner, an immoral woman, the prostitute and the notorious sinner. The last one gets me every time I read it – she was well known and famous for her sin. There’s nothing like a reputation to hold you hostage, is there? Especially in a small town. She would get the stink eye and cold shoulder for sure from the other women in town. I can only imagine how many times her name would be found trending on social media today. (But that’s for another post.)
 
Her reputation was ruined, her life was broken by prostitution, and just as I began to think, I don’t know what it is like to be a prostitute, Lord. I can’t relate to her brokenness in this way, I was reminded that He often described the Israelites as prostitutes. I felt the sting of tears when I read, “… a spirit of prostitution has led them astray [morally and spiritually], and they have played the prostitute, withdrawing themselves from their God” (Hosea 4:12, AMP). A spirit of prostitution causes us to withdraw from God and leads us astray when we give ourselves to other lovers. 
 
Ouch.

Talk about a divine moment; talk about a take-your-breath-away-in-conviction moment. Is it possible I have been led astray by secret lovers which have caused me to withdraw from God? Have I been found guilty of allowing myself to play the prostitute by permitting idols to fill the place reserved for Him? Idols such as...
 
Comfort? Discomfort? Dreams? Fear? Busyness? Laziness? Rebellion? Impatience? People? Oh, my. I can see now...
 
Revision corrects.

Every time the Israelites gave themselves to the idols of other nations, God called them out for their sin of prostitution. Have you been led astray by an idol in your life? Could it be: Fear? Addiction? A Grudge? Money? Anger? Perhaps, People and Politics? Remember revision corrects to make us aware of our secret lovers that would lead us astray. 
 
When this woman found out Jesus was reclining at the table in the Pharisees home – grabbing her alabaster jar – she went too. I find her bravery commendable. While it was acceptable for uninvited guests to come and listen to a Rabbi teach in a home, she would not have been invited, nor would she be welcomed. In fact, she scandalized Simon the Pharisee when she entered his home because no woman of such immoral standing would have been welcome there. I admire anyone brave enough to show up to that party uninvited and unwelcome.
 
Can you imagine the looks as she made her way into the room towards Jesus? I’m sure every set of Pharisee eyes fell upon her. It’s risky to expose brokenness but when you’ve reached the point of desperation you tend to forget what others think and finally do what’s best for you. Regardless of what others think or might say.
 
Perhaps she had heard of the invitation Jesus offered when He said to the people, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matthew 11:28-30, MSG).
 
Her need to live freely and lightly was great. Just as great as mine when I allow the spirit of prostitution to cause approval addiction to lead me astray.The fear of what others will think can cause us to withdraw from God and lead us astray as we seek to please man instead of God. I can see how...
 
Revision improves.
 
Letting go of the opinion of others can improve the quality of your life and the quality of your relationship with Christ. Revision improves our life when we refuse to be led astray by the words of others.
 
The story continues that as she was, “standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began wetting His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head, and [respectfully] kissed His feet [as an act signifying both affection and submission] and anointed them with the perfume” (Luke 7:38, AMP).
 
When she broke open her alabaster jar—the jar possessing a year’s worth of wages—I imagine much more than costly perfume poured out. I believe what was locked up inside of her came pouring out at that moment, too. Perhaps flowing from within her were…
 
Her shame
Her sorrow
Her guilt
Her self-hatred
Her regrets
Her suffering
Her resentment...

making this the reason her tears were so great. I can't help but believe sitting at the feet of Jesus, openly pouring out your slander and scars would produce an abundance of tears. Cleansing tears. Freeing tears. The only way she would be free to live the life she was searching for—the life God intended for her to live—was to leave her life of  prostitution. I believe God might just be reminding me of the same thing: Life becomes as He intended when I walk away from the spirit of prostitution and no longer allow myself to be led astray by the cares of this world.

This was a woman ready for revision. She was ready for Jesus to change her, to improve her and to see her – not for her sin but for her who she was. And when Jesus turned to her and said, “Your sins are forgiven. Your faith [in Me] has saved you; go in peace [free from the distress experienced because of sin]” I believe she left with what she came for (Luke 7:48 & 50, AMP). I believe she walked out of that room a completely different woman than when she walked in. Now I can see...
 
Revision makes new.
 
As I allow the Lord to change my identity – one letter at a time – I too, am ready for a year of revision. I expect it will be a year of correction and improvement but in the end He will have made something new. 
 
#BeYou
R-Revised.
 
 
 
 
 

 …Cannot wait to see where your words take you!

These were the words I found waiting for me in a message from my daughter-in-law recently after I had informed my kids of a writing goal I had just reached. These nine little words had a big impact on me; so much so, it seems they became cemented in my thoughts. It's become nearly impossible to stop them from rising up within me with every word I speak or hear from others. I constantly find myself wondering, where will those words take you? 
 
Every time I ask myself that question I find myself face to face with this truth: words are powerful and absolutely will take us someplace. The question I decided to start asking is, am I happy with the destination?

My sister, Kara, liked to retell the story of the time she and her husband were driving with our kids and took a wrong turn. She would break into laughter at the memory of our youngest son asking from the back seat, “Aunt Kara, where have you tooken us now?” I thought this might be a good time to consider the same question about our words — “Where have they tooken you now?”
 
It’s pretty easy for me to find myself lost after taking a wrong turn with my words. I’ve been in numerous uncomfortable situations because I allowed words to roll out of my mouth with little or no thought. Rather than have a Proverbs 16:24 moment and allow my words to be pleasant like honey—sweet and healing would not always describe what flows from my lips—I’ve exposed the irritation and impatience stirring within me. There’s nothing healing when words are cutting or rude. My daughter calls it being snarky. There was a time excuses covered my harshness by labeling it as sarcasm. But then it was pointed out to me that sarcasm is just a nicer form of anger and angry words lead to hurt - regardless of how you try to sugarcoat them.  Laurence J. Peter said, “Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.” Oh my! I resemble that remark. Angry words have slipped through my lips, or off my texting fingers, that I still regret today. And while God is always forgiving I have found it takes people a bit longer to let it go. Our words definitely take us somewhere. Where have yours taken you?
 
I’ve noticed the words of my grandchildren have the power to take them straight to time-out and, at times, rather quickly. For some, their words have led a spouse to the couch or a separate bedroom – quite possibly a divorce lawyer. Words can put an end to relationships when they abuse rather than appreciate. We always have the choice to use our words to bully others or build them up. If the lips of the godly speak helpful words how do your words help those around you (Proverbs 10:32)? Our words are leading us somewhere in our relationships – are we where we always dreamed we would be? Where have your words taken you in your relationships?
 
There's always plenty of opportunity to speak words of truth or words that spread lies. However, speak words of truth too quickly and they often come out thoughtless, insensitive and offensive. John Maxwell said, “People may hear your words but they feel your attitude.” Oh. My. Goodness. Can I get an amen? We’ve probably all experienced a moment when we heard the words that held truth but felt the attitude as they hit your ears. Snarky. No one likes to be spoken to snarkily (I might have just made that word up). I don’t mean to speak for everyone but Proverbs 12:18 might be useful to those of us who tend to speak without thinking first. If we held this verse in our memory bank it might keep us from those wrong turns. “There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18, AMP). Rash words could have you running to the emergency room with the one you’ve just driven the sword through. Isn’t it easier to hear truthful words delivered from someone who has given careful thought before they share them? Be wise when presenting your words to others. How have rash words been used against you? How many emergency room visits have you made? 
 
The way you speak can cause you to lose the respect of others —even of yourself. Your words can comfort or crush. When we use words to imply we, or others, have no value we dishonor God and His creation. Moses believed himself incapable of surrendering to God’s call because of how he saw himself. When he was asked to go to Pharaoh he “… said to the Lord, “Please, Lord, I am not a man of words (eloquent, fluent), neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and tongue” (Exodus 4:10, AMP). Dr. Suess wrote, “I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.” Don’t allow your own words to be used against you to eliminate yourself from the life God always intended for you. He’s got good plans for each of His kids. Where are your words defeating you?
 
The Amplified Bible says Jesus’ words and works reflected His Messiahship (Matthew 9:35). How well do our words and works reflect our Christship? (I think I made up another word). As we allow God to change our identity —one letter at a time —let’s grab onto the understanding of what James instructed when he wrote, “…Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]” (James 1:19, AMP). I think what he is saying here is practice the pause before your words take you to a place you didn’t really want to end up.

appreciate or abuse
build or break
comfort or crush
dismiss or delight

​Where have your words taken you? 
 
#BeYou 
A S-Speaker of carefully chosen words


 
 

Our youngest son works in retail management and let me tell you, he worked some crazy long hours over the Thanksgiving weekend. When his eight days of work were complete we caught up on how his store did. Any injuries to report? None. Any thievery? Lots. Listening to him talk through this experience (it was his first year in a  management position), the clearer it became to me just how incredibly difficult it is for us to wait.

​For anything. Even a day of shopping.
 
The day after Thanksgiving has long been the “unofficial beginning of the Christmas season” and “Black Friday” has been around since the early 1950s. Apparently, it began when employees started calling in sick for work so they could begin their Christmas shopping. Were you one of them? Then, as it became more popular to play hooky from work, many bosses began to offer the day off  - with pay - as part of the Thanksgiving weekend. Back in the day, people celebrated Thanksgiving on Thursday and then, on Friday, began shopping for Christmas.

Not too long ago, stores released their Black Friday flyers about a week before the big day with the announcement, “Doors Open at 6 a.m.” Then they transitioned to doors opening at midnight on Black Friday. Then we moved to opening Thanksgiving Day at 6 p.m. For some those holiday sales began even before Thanksgiving. So Black Friday begins – when?  And who decided people shouldn’t, or couldn’t, wait for Friday?  Maybe someone thought opening earlier might save lives? That was my son's theory: Opening earlier might prevent trampling or crushing others. 
 
Then in 2005 the phrase, Cyber Monday was birthed (my favorite way to shop). But this year I noticed another change as I began to gather Christmas ideas online on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Cyber Monday is supposed to be the Monday following Thanksgiving. Many stores were boasting about their Cyber Monday sales – on Sunday! What? So now I don’t even need to wait for Cyber Monday? I can shop Cyber Monday – on Sunday? Or Saturday? 

As Matt and I talked I found myself wondering, 

Who decided one day wasn’t enough?
 
And is it any wonder I have a hard time waiting – for anything? (I would say, “we” but I don’t want to jump to conclusions. That wouldn’t be right, would it?)
 
I mean, seriously, I get frustrated sometimes waiting for my food in the microwave; that minute can be a long one when someone is hangry. I notice impatience rise when Pat and I travel; it’s awfully hard to be behind another traveler going 45 when you want to go 65 (or 65 when you want to go 75… or more). And let me just say, waiting in line at a checkout when you’re in a rush – ugh. So aggravating. I find myself counting the items of others when I’m rushed and hoping for a quick checkout in the 20 items or less lane. Gasp! It can cause all sort of anxiety when the person in front of me has more than the allotted amount. I once stood behind a man with 33 items! I’m sure you can imagine what that did to my rule-following-lack-of-patience personality.  I’m always relieved when the lawbreaker and I don’t make eye contact. I’m sure they’d know I counted and am aware of their crime.
 
Maybe we’ve (whoops, I mean I...no…I mean we) we’ve just become conditioned by instant gratification so much so that we no longer have the patience for anything (I don’t even like it when our Internet is slow and we’ve had some s.l.o.w. Internet) or anyone – we just don’t have the patience for others. How often do children hear the words, "hurry up?"
 
Hurry up and get over here.
Hurry and get dressed.
Hurry, you don't want to be late. 
Hurry up and get ready for bed.
Hurry up and finish eating.
Hurry up and _________________.

Hurry, hurry hurry. Rush, rush, rush.
 
But, impatience gets us into trouble. Did you know the average age a child receives their own smartphone is 10.3 and the average age a child is first introduced to porn is 8?  This makes me incredibly sad. I heard the KLOVE radio team discuss this the other day and appreciated their advice: Don’t give a smartphone to a child for the simple reason of peer pressure. Some need it for safety but there are some who only need it to alleviate peer pressure. It might be tempting to give your young child a smartphone this Christmas - but if they aren't ready for the responsibility of it. Wait. It's okay to wait. 
 
​Is it any wonder we have a hard time waiting on God? We expect Him to answer our prayer – in our time; expect Him to show up – in our way. Expect Him to hurry, hurry, hurry – and He won’t. Peter explains, “the Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you” (2 Peter 3:9 NIV, emphasis mine).  He has a planned time, too. It’s just not ours.
 
He spoke through Isaiah about the Child to come…
 
“For to us a Child shall be born, to us a Son shall be given;
And the government shall be upon His shoulder,
And His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
There shall be no end to the increase of His government and of peace,
[He shall rule] on the throne of David and over his kingdom,
to establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness
from that time forward and forevermore.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this” (Isaiah 9:6-7, AMP).
 
and it took over 700 years for Him to arrive.  
 
Time is important.
Waiting is important.
 
As we allow God to change our identity – one letter at a time - let’s not become so distracted by our desire to have everything in our time - and on our terms - that we fail to grow in the art of P- Patience.
 
God-plans are worth waiting for. “….. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed” (Habakkuk 2:3, NLT).
 
#BeYou
P-Patient
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

​Almost a year ago, I received an email from Dr. Josh Axe with an article entitled “7 Signs Your Salt Lamp is Fake.” The email arrived at the same time my social media became swamped with ideals suggesting how real Christians should be living. As I read his seven signs, a list of my own began to form: “7 Signs Your Christian Lamp Is Fake.” After a rebirth of the “real Christian search” began on social media - again-  the list of 7 signs did too.
 
Here is part two of The Seven Signs with Dr. Axe’s 7 Signs Your Salt Lamp is Fake and my own list of 7 Signs Your Christian Lamp Is Fake.

1. Poor Return Policy: If a salt lamp’s maker is extremely strict (like a “NO RETURNS” policy), then it makes you wonder if it’s a scam operation. 

God has an excellent return policy. If you come across someone extremely strict declaring a “no return policy” well, then, you might be wise to consider if you’re being scammed. Peter told us, “God is patient, because he wants everyone to turn from sin and no one to be lost” (2 Peter 3:9, CEV). His extreme patience with Israel gives us insight into just how patient He really is. God told Israel, “I have wiped out your transgressions like a thick cloud and your sins like a heavy mist. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you” (Isaiah 44:22, AMP). Real Christian’s know you can always return and will lead others back to Him.  God is the God of second chances, for sure.

       2.   Highly Durable: If your salt lamp is unaffected by a collision, it could likely be an imposter. 

Durable is defined as able to exist for a long time without significant deterioration in quality or value (Merriam-webster.com) A fake salt lamp is unaffected by a collision but the same should be said about a real Christian. Anyone with a genuine faith understands that while collisions in life are painful and hard to endure, without Christ - collisions would shatter them. When Jesus told the parable of the seeds He said, “The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy.  But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word” Mark 4:16-17, NLT). If you want to know a real Christian keep your eyes open for one whose faith has been deepened by the collisions they’ve experienced in life. An imposter blames God for the collision – and walks away; a real Christian seeks shelter and purpose from Him. When trials come – and they will – does your faith deteriorate or increase in value?  

       3. Very Bright Light: A true salt lamp does not give off enough light to completely illuminate a room. If yours does - then                it’s most likely not the real deal. 

Well, guess what? While a fake salt lamp shouldn’t illuminate an entire room, a real Christian should. If the Christians you know don’t shine with the light of Jesus, maybe they simply aren’t the real deal. Jesus said, “‘You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house’” (Matthew 5:14-15, NLT). Have you ever known someone who – as soon as they walked in the door – gave the entire room a lift with the light of Jesus? Boy, I sure have. I want to stand next to them. I want to bask in the glow. I want to be one of them. Want to be the real deal? Let your light shine! Bright.
 
       4. Inexpensive White Crystal: So if you find a white salt crystal lamp that’s not substantially more expensive than                            the pink/orange versions, steer clear because this is likely an imposter. 

An imposter might lead you to believe there is no cost to living life as a real Christian but Jesus would tell you otherwise. When approached by someone who said, “I will follow you wherever you go” Jesus took him up on his offer and said, “Follow Me.” The man’s response was “Let me first go and...” Not once but twice the answer was “let me first go…” To which Jesus replied, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:57-62). The cost to a real Christian is substantially more than other versions would want you to believe. Without a cost, this is likely an imposter.

        5.  No Mention of Pakistan: Deep underground mines in Khewra, Pakistan, are the only source of true Himalayan pink                     salt.
​ 
No mention of Jesus and you’re missing the only Source of true Christianity. Jesus is the foundation of a real Christian’s faith. He went to the cross for us. He suffered and died for us. He bore sin and shame for us. Paul wrote in Romans 10, “that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation” (vs.9-10, NLT). A real Christian recognizes Jesus as the only Source of salvation and lives a life grateful and devoted to Him.

        6. Moisture-Resistant: By its inherent nature, salt is an absorber of water. If your salt lamp has no problem being near a               moisture source (like a shower), this is a good sign that you own a fake. A true salt lamp is prone to some sweating                       when exposed to moisture. 

A real Christian is prone to some sweating when exposed, as well. Paul wrote, “… all things become visible when they are exposed by the light [of God’s precepts], for it is light that makes everything visible” (Ephesians 5:13, AMP). A real Christian allows the light of Jesus and the conviction of the Holy Spirit to expose sin. And while they might experience some “sweating” while in the hot seat, real Christians seek to  “carefully determine what pleases the Lord” (vs.10) and live accordingly. Real Christians are quick to repent and confess when sin has been exposed. What’s a good sign of an imposter? No problem being near a sinful source with no fear of the Lord.
 
        7. Not Experiencing Any Benefits: If you’re sure that you bought the appropriately sized salt lamp for the space you’re                    using it in and you’ve also been exposed to it on a regular basis and don’t see any positive effects whatsoever, then you               may not have a real Himalayan salt lamp.  

Not experiencing any benefits as a Christian? Have you been exposed on a regular basis to Christians and not seen any positive effects whatsoever? – then you might not be exposed to a real one. I suppose this may sound disappointing to some – even harsh or judgmental to others – but the truth is Jesus said “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10, NKJV). Real Christians experience positive change in their attitude and behavior—they don’t live according to CNN, Fox News, or MSNBC— they live by the standard of the Bible and it shows.
 
Dr. Axe says, If you buy a true Himalayan salt lamp and use it regularly, you may just notice easier breathing, a calmer demeanor and better sleep in your near future. I dare say - the same will be said for those who decide to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation and use the Word of God regularly. You may just notice love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in your near future. And the best part is:  others will too.
 
As we allow God to change our identities – one letter at time – real Christians remember, “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned” (Matthew 5:13, NKJV)?
 
#BeYou
S-Salt
(but please make sure it’s real) 

During the month of October, while scrolling through social media posts, comments and articles, I noticed a consistent theme: the lifestyle of the real Christian. While I’ve become accustomed to the many points-of-view Halloween brings, I must say – I was a bit surprised by the presumptions we are quick to make in regards to the authenticity of another’s faith. Especially if convictions differ. The three opinions that caught my eye pertaining to Christians were these: You can’t be a real Christian and 1) celebrate Halloween, 2) send your children to public school or 3) vote for/support President Trump. According to some – your authenticity as a Christian is solely based on your involvement with any of these.
 
As you can imagine, these viewpoints led to much discussion (not all nice), which wasn’t surprising to me. Maybe Solomon was onto something when he wrote, “Through pride and presumption come nothing but strife, but [skillful and godly] wisdom is with those who welcome [well-advised] counsel”(Proverbs 13:10, AMP). Yikes. Some of the harshest words can come through the lips of Christians towards other Christians. 
 
I found the debates (or were they discussions?) in the comments of these conversations a bit perplexing and they caused me to recall an email that caught my eye several months ago. It was an article written by Dr. Josh Axe entitled, “7 Signs Your Salt Lamp is Fake” and it arrived in my inbox right after the election. At that time much of social media was focused on memes and articles analyzing the authenticity of Christians who had voted for Trump. Maybe you saw them too. (In fact, many can still be seen today). I saw quite a few memes revealing what real Christians should be doing with their lives, money and time. If you weren’t living up to these standards, well, it might be time to rethink your Christianity. At the time, I wondered if we really needed to know the signs for fake salt lamps or if the “7 signs Your Christian Lamp is Fake” was a greater need. After the social media scathing’s of last month – I wondered again. So, here I am .... wondering on a blog. 
 
I don’t own a salt lamp. Do you? I never noticed them, felt the need or desire for one. And because I was oblivious to salt lamps I didn’t know there could be benefits to having one. That is, until I read the article by Dr. Axe. He says benefits “supposedly include decreasing air pollution, negative ions and electrosmog caused by electronic devices in addition to symptom reduction for people suffering from asthma, allergies, and other illnesses.” Who knew a salt lamp could do so much? Not I.  Then I realized I wasn’t aware of my need for a deeper relationship with Christ until that was pointed out either. Raised with my backside planted in a church pew each Sunday and every special service – I was pretty sure I had all of the “Christian” I needed. It wasn’t until a time of great loss and suffering did it become clear to me that my Christian lamp was nothing more than a dim imposter.
 
There was nothing genuine about my relationship with Jesus. There was no security in my reliance upon God or the words written in His Book. I was simply a churchgoer who claimed the title, “Christian” because I attended a Christian church. Even after years of Sunday school, youth groups and Bible camps, I held very little knowledge of God and other than a few rote prayers I had no communication with Him. I lived my life according to the Kingdom of Kolleen and pursued happiness for myself. Sometimes it takes a great shaking of our faith to determine the actual depth of it.
 
As I read the article by Dr. Axe, he made it clear that real Himalayan salt is “located on the western edge of the Himalayan Mountains and is the only source of true Himalayan pink salt.” So, if you want a real Himalayan salt lamp, the salt has to come from the western edge of the Himalayan Mountains. Want real? It seems we must go to the place where real is found.
 
I’d say the same is true for someone seeking real Christians: if you want real you must go to where Christ can be found. Where might that be? Just as you must go to the Himalayan Mountain if you want pure Himalayan salt, you must go to the place where you going to find the purity of the Lord – His Word. Many are asking where the real Christians are – but would you be able to recognize them if they were standing among you? Perhaps the reason we can't see them is because, according to Christianity Today, there is an epidemic of Bible illiteracy. Seems many don’t care much for Bible reading but we do enjoy our presumptions. 

Dr. Axe also shared this little nugget with his readers: “a salt lamp is not a lamp at all if it doesn’t have the light and heat source within it. Without that, it’s just a block of salt.” Interesting. Jesus referred to Himself as Light. He said, “I have come as Light into the world so that everyone who believes and trusts in Me [as Savior—all those who anchor their hope in Me and rely on the truth of My message] will not continue to live in darkness” (John 12:46, AMP). So, if a salt lamp is fake without the light and heat source, it seems reasonable to say a Christian is not a Christian at all if they don’t have the Source, the Light of Jesus, within them.

Without Jesus, they are just a block of … what? 

As we allow God to change our identity - one letter at a time - may we become authentic lamps of the One, True, Light source.

#BeYou
​L-Light

​Stay tuned for part two of The Seven Signs...

 I wasn’t much of a football fan before Pat and I married. My football priorities were cheering my then-hunky-boyfriend, Pat, from the cheering squad as he played on our high school team. I never understood much about the game; football was, for me, much like high school - I was simply there for the social aspect. (And to spend extra time with Pat.) Now, when football season starts, our Sunday's are spent cheering together for the Green Bay Packers. With the vow of taking Pat as a husband also came the vow of cheering for the Green Bay Packers. A lot of football talk takes place here. Often. There are fantasy teams to attend to, games to watch and trivia to discuss. 

And I rarely pay any attention to any of it. 

That is, until recently when I began to take notice of a term I hear often: protecting the pocket.

I had a vague idea of what the term meant but looking it up — and getting the inside scoop from Pat — I discovered it is the “area behind the line of scrimmage where the quarterback is protected from rushing defenders. If looked at from above, it appears as if the quarterback is in a "pocket" of protection behind the offensive line. If a quarterback leaves the pocket, they put themselves at risk of getting sacked.” 

Even I know the last thing any coach, team or fan wants to see is your quarterback sacked. This indicates a defender was able to find a weak spot and break through the line. And a sack always comes with a price. It might be...

•    the loss of a down. – you only have four downs, or plays, to score or gain 10 yards.  
•    the loss of yards – you’ve gone backward and now have a further distance to go to get that first down. 
•    the chance of a fumble – losing the ball altogether.

There’s also the mental aspect that happens to a player when a sack occurs.

•    Fear of it happening again – intimidation.
•    Discouragement for those on the line for not protecting the pocket. 
•  The possibility of injury to your quarterback. (We saw this happen when Aaron Rodgers was sacked and suffered a broken clavicle ☹). 

I can see why protecting the pocket is an important part of the game of football. The tighter the line, the more secure the quarterback.  The more secure the quarterback, the better chance the team has of making the plays. The more completed plays, the better the chance of scoring the touchdown that leads to victory.  And that’s what every team is after, right? Victory.  

I can also see why God would want us protected in the pocket, too. 

Imagine for a moment your life as a football game and you’re the quarterback trying to make your way to the goal God has for you. The same is true for you as it is for the quarterback in football – leave the pocket of protection and you risk getting sacked. Why? Because of the many rushing defenders trying to hold your offensive line with the intention of preventing you from scoring the touchdown. Their objective is to break through the line, sack you and cause you to suffer; either a lost down, lost yards or the same mental crisis players face: fear, intimidation, and discouragement. 

Emotions such as these can become defenders on the line pushing back against our offense trying to break into the pocket for a sack. What do we have on our offensive team protecting us while we’re in the pocket? Paul put a great offensive lineup in place for us in Ephesians 6…

“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Ephesians 6:14-17, NIV).

If your offensive line is weak, there’s a good chance your pocket is going to be unprotected and a sack may occur. I think every quarterback wants to know so they can be protected, don't you? 

So, where is your line weak? 

Have you buckled the belt of truth around your waist? For instance, who’s truth do you listen to and accept? If I were to tell you that as a result of Jesus death on the cross, you stand before Him holy and blameless, without a single fault, would you accept this as truth (Colossians 1:22)? Deception and lies are the defenders at the line trying to push back against the offensive line of truth. 

Is the breastplate of righteousness in place? Proverbs 4:23 tell us to “Guard our heart above all else for it determines the course of your life.” How do you protect your heart? An unprotected heart can leave us sacked and suffering. It might be a loss of a down, yards, or even through a mental crisis. I can testify to suffering a few sacks after allowing my heart to go unprotected. Disappointment and rejection can be defenders at this line trying to push back against the offensive breastplate of righteousness. 

Are your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace? Ready means having the ability to respond without delay or hesitation. What is your response time to peace? Peter wrote that we should search for peace and work to maintain it (1 Peter 3:11). If I'm not careful I can be consumed by worry. Are your days full of conflict either with yourself or others? Anxiety and Strife are the defenders at this line trying to break the line of offense against the gospel of peace. 

Have you taken up the shield of faith? Paul told us it’s this shield that is able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Not just a few: all. When the shield of faith is engaged we are able to step up into the eye of the storm while the offensive line pushes back against the defenders. In the eye of the storm, there is peace even when the storm is raging all around. Pat showed me a perfect example of this during the Patriot vs. Jets game when Tom Brady’s offensive line protected him perfectly so he could fall back and then step up into the “eye of the storm” and complete the play. While the storm is raging around you, in the eye of it, there's peace. How strong is your shield? Do you have faith to believe you can overcome what He says you can overcome? Doubt and unbelief are the defenders pushing back against your line of offense where your shield of faith stands ready. 

Have you put on the helmet of salvation? Football players never play the game without a helmet – why? Because they recognize the protection it provides. One hit without the helmet could be disastrous.  We, too, must always protect our mind. If you focus on the wrong thing - you’ll believe the wrong thing about yourself and others. Wrong thoughts lead to wrong destinations. Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Insecurity and accusation are just two defenders pushing against your offensive line to break it. 

And then there is the sword of the Spirit – the word of God: How well do you know the Word? When trying to break through the line of defenders – it’s the use of the word, backed by faith that pushes the defenders back. Football players have a playbook; they study the playbook; and they know the playbook so when game day arrives - they are ready.  Our sword is the Word of God and when we know it well, we are able to recognize the defender's strategy as they attempt to break the pocket. Apathy and inconsistency might be two defenders seeking to break through your offensive line here. 

Pat also pointed out to me that in football the defenders never go anywhere—you must be on offense to move towards the goal. The truth is, in life, if you are always on the defense, you’re not going to move forward either. You may think you are – but in reality – you’re not. If you feel stuck and you can’t figure out why it might be time to do a little inventory and be honest with yourself.  Do you often get defensive when someone challenges your thoughts, words, or actions? Be honest. If you always feel the need to defend yourself maybe it's time to move from defense to offense. 

There are plenty of defenders on the line trying to break the pocket and bring you down with a sack. 

Deception and lies
Disappointment and rejection
Anxiety and Strife
Insecurity and accusation
Apathy and inconsistency

but there are others: bitterness, jealousy, pride, rebellion, shame, anger, as well as control.

If we allow God to change our identity – one letter at a time – we might just discover which defender is causing us the most trouble. Once it's identified - seek to repair the line. Victory happens when the offensive line is strongest.

#BeYou
V-Victorious

My good friend Kelley has a goal. After struggling with a few health issues, she realized that, for her, exercise was much more enjoyable when she spent time outdoors than anything she could do inside, so she decided to try hiking. She started by simply walking through the beautiful nature trails around her home. Then she began trekking on the trails within the Adirondack Mountains. Before she knew it she was hooked and began researching her way to complete her goal of climbing as many Adirondack Mountains possible.

I began following her journey when she started sharing pictures on social media of herself standing on the top of each mountain, or Fire Tower, she had climbed. There she would be - covered in sweat but clothed with a radiant smile and a gorgeous view behind her. It seemed every week she had embarked on a new adventure and was able to cross one more mountain off her bucket list.  After a few months she set a goal for herself to become part of The Saranac Lake 6er Club. It’s a club for those who complete the Adirondack Peaks of McKenzie Mt., Ampersand Mt., Scarface Mt., Haystack Mt., St. Regis Mt., and Mt. Baker. When you complete your sixth mountain climb you share your accomplishment by the ringing of “The 6er Bell” which hangs in downtown Saranac Lake and your name is added to an ever-growing member roster. Kelley rang that bell to the cheers of many almost one year to the day she took her first climb. She’d done such a great job of making hiking look fun and easy, I began to have a hankering to tackle a mountain myself. So, I mentioned to her one day that I’d love to join her when our schedules allowed that to happen.

Letting her know I was interested seemed easy enough. I was interested, after all. After several failed scheduling attempts she called one day to let me know she was heading out on a hike around Nick’s Lake in Old Forge. She said this hike would be great for a beginner, which I was. I finally had no reason to say, "I can't," or "It's not going to work for me." "Yes!” I said. Then she gave me the details … and just like that apprehension replaced excitement. I suddenly liked it better when my commitment level was simply the words of interest I’d spoken. On one hand it looked rewarding and fun, yet on the other hand it now sounded challenging, and her schedule was going to require a change in my morning routine.

While I am an early riser, my mornings usually begin with a cup of hot tea and quiet time in prayer. After years of providing daycare and now as a stay-at-home Mimi, quiet time before the busyness of the day is a must-have for me. However, meeting Kelley for a hike would require my leaving the house by 7 a.m. for the nearly two-hour drive to meet her. As the day approached I felt panicked hesitation growing within me for the commitment I’d made. It had been so easy to say I wanted to join her – at the time. But now I began to regret my “yes” answer as I realized not only would my morning routine be disrupted, I would be completely out of my comfort zone and challenged physically beyond what I had been in a very long time. This isn’t going to end well I thought. Would I be able to do this?

The evening before our excursion I felt conflicted as I dug through closets in search of a backpack. Of course, the only item close to a backpack was an old bag with a drawstring attached; there would be no guessing who the newbie was on this hike. How disappointed would Kelley be if I cancelled due to the fact I didn’t have a stylish backpack? Was that reason enough for excusing myself until a time when I was braver? My husband didn’t think it was. And so, going through the list of important items Kelley recommended I bring, I began loading them into the bag. “Whatever you do, don’t forget the bug spray. You’re going to want that!” She told me. “Great” I thought. The next morning I gathered my things—as well as my courage—and took off for the Adirondack Mountains to meet my friend and my new experience.

Deep down I had a feeling I would be rejoicing after our time together that day; and I was. I still am. Taking those initial steps on my first-ever-five-mile hike through the woods within the Adirondack Park was hard. My legs weren’t quite ready for the stepping, lifting, and bending that were required of them. Likewise, my arms weren’t ready for the reaching and pulling they were forced to participate in either. But I did it, and boy did it feel great to know I hadn’t been stopped by the fear of leaving my comfort zone. It all came down to making a sacrifice intent on doing something new and different. I can get so caught up in the safety found in my routine.
​
One of my favorite moments of the day was driving along the winding roads to Old Forge and having the beautiful Adirondack Mountains come into view. I felt such a sense of awe come over me and I found myself pondering these words that drifted through my thoughts. If you want to climb a mountain, you must go to the mountain. Well, didn’t that make perfect sense? Achieving any desire requires putting forth the necessary effort to make it happen. Whether facing a mountain of fear and insecurity, or debt and unpaid bills, the only sure way to fulfill the desire is to go and begin the hike. I had almost skipped out on the entire day because of my fear of the unknown. If I had stayed home that day, allowing myself to remain in the rut of routine, I might never have discovered my love for hiking.

My birthday gift from my husband that year was a pair of hiking boots, which not only have I worn for many more hikes with my friend Kelley, but several hikes with my husband too. We were able to hike a few mountains in Colorado in the fall of 2016 as well as enjoying our journey up Black Bear Mountain in the Adirondack’s with our daughter and her family. It’s quite entertaining—and a little unnerving—to hike with the grandchildren but it’s become an adventure I plan to continue taking.
​
Oh joy! Kelley just informed me of the Lake George challenge. After a long winter’s rest, I guess it’s time to dust off my hiking boots. John Muir said, “the mountains are calling and I must go.” It’s time to leave the comfort zone.